We have clearly entered a new golden age of greedy scumbag behavior. Just a cursory glance at the financial fraudsters that have recently bobbed to the surface makes that indelibly clear:
- Bernard Madoff – His crimes will ultimately tarnish Charles Ponzi’s legacy; preyed almost exclusively on his own community to crank the villainy to Sauron-like levels
- Nicholas Cosmo – Allegedly ponzi’d $380 million in a High Yield Bridge Loan scheme from blue collar investors (helpful hint, blue collar investors, if the guy selling you the incredible investment opportunity has already done time for securities fraud, stay away.)
- Dennis Bolze – Even good old boys from Tennessee aren’t immune from (allegedly) ripping folks off; in this case it’s mostly Europeans so at least it’s not the poor-assed locals
- Allen Stanford – Alleged mega-ripoff that is bordering on Madoffian; thumbs down for souring Antigua’s fine reputation and being a cricket supporter
- And the list goes on (the guys faking their deaths, etc)….
A real “Scumbag Renaissance” – fuckheads one and all. May they all rot in jail forever. But the toussle headed gentleman pictured above? He’s different from the rest of these guys. Brazen thief? Sure. Scumbag? Absolutely. Pathological liar? No doubt. Guy I wouldn’t mind getting a couple drinks with? Let’s do it.
Allow me to introduce Marc Dreier, the only one of these fuckers to risk his life and career with schemes that would seem implausible in a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. Impersonating a member of Ontario Teacher’s legal team? In their offices??? In those glass conference rooms??? You, sir, have balls. I will grant you that. And at least you were swindling some bloated hedge funds who apparently eschewed the concept of “due diligence” – if you’d been giving that money to poor folks instead of padding the Warhol collection you could’ve maybe gotten some Robin Hood cred.
I think Dreier is a little different because it seems he was largely motivated in this by getting laid – and who among us hasn’t been guilty of a little exaggeration or misrepresentation in this pursuit? In an ironic twist, I recall impersonating a law student to impress some attractive coeds in New Orleans one spring break. Georgetown Law. Unfortunately some cock blocker who really was from Georgetown Law fucked everything up pretty quickly. And also because my wingman was unable to think of any fraternity names at all to substantiate our story. Weak.
Sure, Dreier had all the standard issue sociopath stuff going too, and the narcissism, and the neverending desire to prove himself more successful than all his peers….blah, blah, blah…I’d have a few rounds of Red Bull & Vodka with the guy – he bought a fucking Picasso with stolen hedge fund cash! And he himself was playing the pivotal role in these scams! He deserves some kudos for not only impersonating the (nonexistent) note issuer, but also providing all the (fraudulent) documentation. He probably bound the pitch books, too.
Besides funding a lot of parties to get some tail, he was also expanding his (fraudulent) business all over the place – perhaps this was an ill-conceived effort to jump start the global economy? And apparently he was going to pay the interest on these (non-existent) notes: i bet the debtholders from Ontario Teacher’s 2006 port investment would rather have the Dreier promissory notes. Plus, he rocked a sweet comb-over. Those of us at differing stages of hair recession/advancement applaud his efforts.
At least Dreier had some panache in his crimes – the Face/Off switcheroos, the office invasions…Stealing escrow money is about as taboo as necrophilia and bestiality combined – Dreier stole $10 million of escrow money from his jail cell in Toronto! (Oh, allegedly) And, predictably, the authorities cannot find it now. He’s a marvel. Bernie could certainly use a little of the Dreier pizazz.
I’d love to have a few cocktails with Dreier. ”What’s that? You’ve got some bridge loan notes for sale? 8% in three months? Hmmm, I’m not doing that great in the personal account….”