This Blog Would’ve Been Pretty Cutting Edge in 1996

This Blog Would’ve Been Pretty Cutting Edge in 1996

(Editor’s Note:  I will be away for a bit longer than expected.  Things that are in my wheelhouse: drinking Yellow Tail, hanging out in casinos, eating burritos.  Things that aren’t in my wheelhouse: eating vegetables, watching period pieces, hanging out in hospitals awaiting diagnoses for family members.  No fun for anyone involved – particularly those facing the diagnosis.  Luckily all is well, but it will take a few days to restore the world order to where one can focus on important things such as the long-awaited new season of So You Think You Can Dance.)

It has come to my attention that the trend in websites has moved to “micro content” – that is, shit that you can convey in a text message.  Blogs such as this one, that contain rambling manifestos and other blather are now, according to one reader, “fucking lame.”  When the fuck did that happen?  How can I be so consistently behind the times, despite the fact that I spend like 19 hours per day on the computer?

Previous examples of my being late to the party:

  • Buying my first pair of parachute pants in 1994
  • Trying to game the “Hot Christmas Toy” market as described here
  • Loading up on tech stocks in the spring of 2000
  • Going to work on Wall Street in 2002, just as pay had dropped 75% (it recovered – turns out those cycles only last 1-2 years before the money comes flowing back…happening again now as big guarantees are back after a one year respite)
  • Buying a Palm Pilot in 2008

I have corrected this problem.  I just picked up a Motorola Razr and set up my first social networking account on Friendster.  And I’m considering signing up for a Twister account, too.  So it’s goodbye to those long boring-assed posts about how to order food at Qdoba or what it’s like to work at a poultry processing plant.  Hello, micro content.

My first post:

49ers win – awesome.  Kanye so crazy.   Ellen on Idol?  No!!!!  LOL!  Serena so crazy 2.  LOL!  Tyler Perry rulez!  Bye!

Fuck, this is gonna be so easy.  Unforeseen travel has distracted me from the tasks at hand around here a little bit, but working on it.




2 thoughts on “This Blog Would’ve Been Pretty Cutting Edge in 1996

  1. You need to set up a Twitter account so that we can follow when you are masterbating or taking a dump.

    You should also start up a facebook page for your cat.

    Hope this helps you out!

  2. You need to put some controversial crap on this blog to drive some eyeballs and comments. You should say something like “Kanye West slapped Taylor Swift at the VMA and I support his actions”. That’ll get you a few comments.

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