1. If I had to have one of those “could be a guy’s name or a girl’s name” names, I’d go with Stacy.
2. I’m a Braves fan, but this wasn’t their year. With all that pitching, and super-uber prospect Jason Heyward on the way, next year might be. (Although given that they’ve performed below their pythagorean expectation for like six years in a row, maybe it is time for Bobby Cox to step down?)
3. I’m not certain, but it seems plausible that Cosmopolitan just re-runs the same “25 Ways To Energize Your Bedroom” article every month. How many times can they go to the “leave a naughty note in his briefcase” well?
4. I have a birthmark on my neck that looks like a russian mafia tattoo. Actually, it looks more like some residual dirt. If you run into me in public, there’s no need to point it out, I bathe semi-regularly.
5. I once performed at a state fair as a member of a Run-DMC lip-synching team. The performance was not well received, despite our very literal interpretation of “I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you”.
6. The other night I woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t sleep for 35 minutes as I struggled to recall Judd Apatow’s wife’s name. Dammit, Leslie Mann. (Is it pronounced app-a-toe? app-a-tao? not sure)
7. I’m very glad to see Don Draper getting his groove back. Poor guy’s taken some lumps lately.
8. I cannot sleep if I believe there are even trace amounts of urine in my system. This often requires a couple of nighttime visits to the bathroom. I also cannot stand the thought of not brushing my teeth after having slept. This means I also have to brush my teeth during said bathroom trips. I may have a touch of the OCD.
9. This is what that Jerry Maguire kid looks like now.
10. Peopleofwalmart is hilarious, but it’s too easy. If you spend twenty minutes in any W-M, I’m pretty sure you’ll have some content to add. When I was back home I spent a decent amount of time in The Mart, and once saw a gentleman wearing a camouflage sport coat with zubaz and a wife beater. The confederate flag pocket square really set the whole thing off.
11. I’m a 49er fan, but this isn’t their year. Draft a stud QB and a right tackle, let QB sit for a year behind Hill, and they’ll be upper tier in 2011.
12. Here are some other examples of wasted potential: Darryl Strawberry, Weeds, Terence Trent D’Arby, Entourage. (Lest the Top Ten Candy Bar searches overwhelm this site: Entourage sucks, Weeds sucks. You heard me, Google. I said Entourage sucks and Weeds sucks. Once I muster the strength to watch it again, I’m sure I’ll be able to offer that Californication sucks.)