A Few Important Things

A Few Important Things




1.  If I had to have one of those “could be a guy’s name or a girl’s name” names, I’d go with Stacy.


2.  I’m a Braves fan, but this wasn’t their year.  With all that pitching, and super-uber prospect Jason Heyward on the way, next year might be.  (Although given that they’ve performed below their pythagorean expectation for like six years in a row, maybe it is time for Bobby Cox to step down?)


3.  I’m not certain, but it seems plausible that Cosmopolitan just re-runs the same “25 Ways To Energize Your Bedroom” article every month.  How many times can they go to the “leave a naughty note in his briefcase” well?


Why do they have hot girls on the cover of both men and women's magazines?
Why do they have hot girls on the cover of both men and women's magazines?



4.  I have a birthmark on my neck that looks like a russian mafia tattoo.  Actually, it looks more like some residual dirt.  If you run into me in public, there’s no need to point it out, I bathe semi-regularly.


5.  I once performed at a state fair as a member of a Run-DMC lip-synching team.  The performance was not well received, despite our very literal interpretation of “I cut the head off the devil and I throw it at you”.


6.  The other night I woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t sleep for 35 minutes as I struggled to recall Judd Apatow’s wife’s name.  Dammit, Leslie Mann.  (Is it pronounced app-a-toe?  app-a-tao? not sure)


Dream cursers
Dream cursers



7.  I’m very glad to see Don Draper getting his groove back.  Poor guy’s taken some lumps lately.


8.  I cannot sleep if I believe there are even trace amounts of urine in my system.  This often requires a couple of nighttime visits to the bathroom.  I also cannot stand the thought of not brushing my teeth after having slept.  This means I also have to brush my teeth during said bathroom trips.  I may have a touch of the OCD.


9.  This is what that Jerry Maguire kid looks like now.

nice smolder, lipnicki
nice smolder, lipnicki


10.  Peopleofwalmart is hilarious, but it’s too easy.  If you spend twenty minutes in any W-M, I’m pretty sure you’ll have some content to add.  When I was back home I spent a decent amount of time in The Mart, and once saw a gentleman wearing a camouflage sport coat with zubaz and a wife beater.  The confederate flag pocket square really set the whole thing off.


11.  I’m a 49er fan, but this isn’t their year.  Draft a stud QB and a right tackle, let QB sit for a year behind Hill, and they’ll be upper tier in 2011.


12.  Here are some other examples of wasted potential: Darryl Strawberry, Weeds, Terence Trent D’Arby, Entourage.  (Lest the Top Ten Candy Bar searches overwhelm this site: Entourage sucks, Weeds sucks.  You heard me, Google.  I said Entourage sucks and Weeds sucks.  Once I muster the strength to watch it again, I’m sure I’ll be able to offer that Californication sucks.)


Chilly17


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