A lot of people ask me “Chilly, I’m just an average guy, what was life like as a high-flying (middle tier) investment banker?” Or banker friends will ask “Chilly, how is trading or blogging or whatever the fuck it is that you do going? You glad to be out of The Game?” I figured we would be best served to lay out some specific situations and compare the three. (“Trogger” over “Blader,” obviously. ”Blader” evokes a mouth-breathing Canadian who wears jean shorts while unironically roller-blading down the West Side Highway.)
What you are thinking at 4:00 AM
Average Joe: ”Fuck, I have to get up in three hours.”
Banker: ”Fuck, I have to get up in five or six hours.”
Trogger: ”Fuck, I should really go to bed soon.”
What transportation you use to get to work
Average Joe: Chrysler Sebring (but longing for the fake Bentley Dodge 300)
Banker: Slum it on the subway or rock a taxi? Taxi. (He likely has a nice BMW stored somewhere, but never drives it.)
Trogger: N/A (Works from bed)
What you think on the 1st and 15th
Average Joe: ”Sweet, $1800.”
Banker: ”Sweet, $3200.”
Trogger: ”How much are these cans worth? Do they pay anything for wine bottles?”
The money's nice, but the smirking? Priceless
What you think on the 1st of February
Average Joe: ”Sweet, $1800.”
Banker: ”Sweet, $242,375 and a bunch of soon-to-be-less-valuable stock.”
Trogger: ”If BRCM goes up only 240%, these calls will be worth a fucking ton. Fuck bonus, I’m my own man.”
How you respond to an invite to see a new movie
Average Joe: ”Sure – how about the Saturday 7:30 show? My softball game should be over by 6:15″
Banker: ”Can’t, bro, I am jammed up with a vetting sesh.”
Trogger: ”OK, but we have to go to the 3:00 PM show on Friday. Any later and the place will be littered with employeds messing around with their cell phones the entire time.”
Long 85 ONXX calls and still making an effort to smile. Life is good.
How you respond to an invite to drop what you are working on and go do something fun
Average Joe: “No can do; I don’t get off til 5:00 and my boss tolerates no shit.”
Banker: “Can’t, bro, I am jammed up running some traps on a potential IPO in the humidor space.”
Trogger:
#1 by TDiddy on October 22nd, 2009 - 11:22 am
How many people will get the joke in the final line? Lets send a box of hammers to whomever responds that you didn’t finish the blog entry.
#2 by chilly17 on October 22nd, 2009 - 4:27 pm
Only one so far and she immediately regretted it.