C-17, you already broke #8.

1. Megan Fox is so last year and Google Image search traffic blows. I am now getting more inbound traffic from goatee fans calling me an idiot and telling me all about their important jobs as the manager of the Hertz kiosk in Louisville.

2. “Leg sled” is about the gheyest shit I’ve ever heard.

3. If you are rocking the elliptical machine in a spandex bodysuit, you subject yourself to criticism.

4. I clearly stated in my resolutions list that I wasn’t going to pre-judge strangers and that most of the people that I already know had failed the dumbassness litmus test.

5. You know you rock the jean shorts, it’s your look. No one looks better rollerblading. If mullets were legal in banking I’m sure you’d add that to your reportoire.

6. Don’t invoke Robocop. Seriously.

I am calling out the NY resolution police and I submit the following “lab report” for the Chilly files.

Hypothesis: Chilly will write anything on his site to boost Megan Fox traffic from google

Situation: At the Chelsea NYSC yesterday doing some low impact cardio as a prelude to putting on my incredible hulk demonstration on the leg sled. Whether or not my ample buttocks were teaming with a fine bead of perspiration is irrelevant

C-17 Action: Chilly rolls up with a smirk and yells to the crowd, “jeesus chriasst doooode, you’ll fit into your jean shorts in no time”

Analysis: Without understanding the full context of the events, he has deliberately assumed that he is smarter than everyone and everyone is an idiot (violation of #8). Chilly, you are a b%tch. Akin to someone who watches the epic 1987 movie robocop and yells out in the theatre, jesus christ dude, that cyborg shits pudding, only to ignore Robocop’s greater role in the re-shaping of Detroit’s inner city way of life in the late 80′s