Tapped Potentialz? An Afternoon Hour at the Met

Tapped Potentialz? An Afternoon Hour at the Met

I don’t spend all my time eating funyuns and watching Caroline In The City reruns.  Some days I like to get up early and just walk through the city, embracing the city’s cultural diversity and evaluating life from a different social perspective. Then, I’ll generally eat a late breakfast at some quaint bistro while working the Time‘s crossword puzzle.  After indulging in a croque monsieur, I’ll often head over to the Met with my sketchpad and reinterpret some lesser Renaissance pieces in charcoal.  Other times, there are guests from out of town that want to hang out at the Met for about an hour.  So there are many times I get my culture up.

The Met is pretty fucking huge, but you really only need to go to one place: the arms and armor section.  Yeah, the Van Goghs and shit are pretty cool, but seeing the battle gear those poor fuckers in the 1500s actually wore is about 30x cooler.  Since you unlucky saps are either sitting at your desk or are nowhere near the Met, I will share some of the experience with you.  Above is a (poorly taken) photo of four knights – it is a rule that anyone walking through this section must take a photo with the knights as a backdrop.  I accidentally cropped out the wizard, but he was pretty badass, too.

Looks like a Saints fan

Once somebody invented guns, armorers had to prove that their gear could withstand getting shot.  So they would shoot it – the resultant dents were the “inspected by” seal of satisfaction.  The Italians, of course, decided to integrate the dents into the design of their outfits, and engraved elaborate shit all over the place to make it much more fashionable than all the other armors.  Such as the outfit below, but due to the shitty photographry, you can’t really see it.

It must've taken like 15 years to make one of these

Nothing strikes fear like a gold lion hat. The French are hilarious.

From the 1400s, this armor has a high leather component. I'll pass. Thanks, though

The only item from the Canadian military - Iron skirt

More intimidating: fearsome warlord helmet or crouching bunny helmet?

Japanese armor - complete with the mustaches they longed to grow

This grim reaper armor might be my favorite - the aluminum foil horse is sweet too

Another example of the pussification of America: I will probably never have to buy horse face armor

This Chinese horse face armor appears to have been purchased at the Looney Tunes store

Gratuitious T&A

Consider yourself more cultured.  My pleasure.



2 thoughts on “Tapped Potentialz? An Afternoon Hour at the Met

  1. In the past 7 days, we’ve had a post on Ibsen and a post on the Met. But nothing on the NCAA tournament. WTF, chilly? You’re sucking major cockballs right now. If you’re not careful, your girlfriend is going to dump you and start playing with T-Nice. Or even worse – TDiddy.

  2. That’s one unforeseen downside to unemployment: no bracketage. (Note: the upsides of doing whatever you want, all the time, make up for this downside). Since Navy and Arkansas are both a couple decades from their hoops’ primes, it generally takes a gambling interest for me to get interested before the sweet sixteen.

    I’ll tune in tonight – perhaps we should just have a group discussion on the fact that one of the cornell players is interning with GS this summer? Although I heard John Wall is going to do his summer at Lazard, so who knows?

    T-Diddy likes men.

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