I don’t spend all my time eating funyuns and watching Caroline In The City reruns. Some days I like to get up early and just walk through the city, embracing the city’s cultural diversity and evaluating life from a different social perspective. Then, I’ll generally eat a late breakfast at some quaint bistro while working the Time‘s crossword puzzle. After indulging in a croque monsieur, I’ll often head over to the Met with my sketchpad and reinterpret some lesser Renaissance pieces in charcoal. Other times, there are guests from out of town that want to hang out at the Met for about an hour. So there are many times I get my culture up.
The Met is pretty fucking huge, but you really only need to go to one place: the arms and armor section. Yeah, the Van Goghs and shit are pretty cool, but seeing the battle gear those poor fuckers in the 1500s actually wore is about 30x cooler. Since you unlucky saps are either sitting at your desk or are nowhere near the Met, I will share some of the experience with you. Above is a (poorly taken) photo of four knights – it is a rule that anyone walking through this section must take a photo with the knights as a backdrop. I accidentally cropped out the wizard, but he was pretty badass, too.
Once somebody invented guns, armorers had to prove that their gear could withstand getting shot. So they would shoot it – the resultant dents were the “inspected by” seal of satisfaction. The Italians, of course, decided to integrate the dents into the design of their outfits, and engraved elaborate shit all over the place to make it much more fashionable than all the other armors. Such as the outfit below, but due to the shitty photographry, you can’t really see it.
Consider yourself more cultured. My pleasure.