The Reader Was Hilarious

The Reader Was Hilarious



Wow, apparently writing the Oscar live-blog took a lot out of me – is it really Wednesday afternoon already?  I’m still pretty groggy, too; I’ve quickly moved from insomnia to CFS.  Not much going on in Chillyville at the moment.  Going to see some Big East games tonight, my first ever college hoops experience (never went to a Navy game, since I there after the David Robinson glory days).

We watched The Reader on HBO On Demand last night.  I wasn’t expecting much, I’d previously seen a preview for the movie while the channel was muted.  Based solely on the silent trailer I saw, I assumed the movie would contain the following, at a minimum (some spoilers, some not):

  1. Some books
  2. Some illiteracy
  3. Someone uttering the following sentence: “Are you a good, a good….reader??”
  4. Someone crying as they are being read to
  5. Someone laughing hysterically as they are being read to
  6. A short biography of the guy who invented the PDF format
  7. Gratuitous Kate Winslet nudity
  8. Lots of baths
  9. Bad accents
  10. At least one suicide

I realize this is a little dated, but the movie pretty much sucked – I didn’t really get the connection between any of the characters.  Hooking up with someone when you are 15 – much less a really bitchy someone – doesn’t make them your lifetime lobster.  (Yes, I’m using an analogy that may be inaccurate as my source of information was Phoebe from Friends).  And the twenty minute epilogue felt really out of place, like the director said “shit we’ve only got 100 minutes here, to be taken seriously as a Nazi love story, this needs to be at least two hours long.”  The bloopers after the credits were fucking hysterical, though, and really redeemed the rest of the film.  The best post-credit bloopers I’ve seen since Precious: Based On The Novel ‘Push’ By Sapphire.

I know everyone comes here for reviews of movies that came out like two years ago, so, once again, I am all over it.  Maybe next I will review The Empire Strikes Back (with spoiler tags, of course).  It’s important to keep the momentum rolling.


RIP, Corey Haim I haven’t checked any online death pool sites, but I’ve gotta imagine that Corey Haim was pretty high up the pecking order, didn’t seem like the dude could shake the hard stuff.  He was slightly outside of my demographic, since I had just turned 29 when The Goonies came out.  I do recall some bizarre videos that had surfaced a few years back showing him to be pretty delusional about his career prospects.

I have to wonder what would’ve happened to the “death montage” at the Oscars if this had happened last week?  They probably would have just snubbed Patrick Swayze a la Farrah.  Still pissed about the Farrah omission – I get that her most notable body of work was in television, but she made enough movies, and was at one point a big enough star, to get two seconds of screen time.


Skweezy $kweez If you are somewhere where foul language and adult content are acceptable, I highly recommend this video.


 

 

500 words is pretty good for a lazy Wednesday – later,

Chilly17

9 thoughts on “The Reader Was Hilarious

  1. The Reader wasn’t that bad. I liked how it touched on the German civilian side of what the Nazis were doing. Was Winslet a scapegoat since everyone knew what was going on and didn’t want to admit it? What to do with the $.50 and a cigarette that she left the victim? Heavy stuff. It did answer 1 question though – Winslet is going to look Gollum-esque a few years down the line (nothing like your sex goddess, H. Mirren)

  2. I guess there were some good concepts in there, but it was all too disjointed for me. I’ve seen Iris, so I couldve done with a little less tubtime. Seems like he should’ve just banged Sophie when he was 16 and been done with it.

  3. Hey chilly. I watched the youtube video. That’s you, isn’t it? Banking must’ve really beat the shit out of you…

  4. God I wish it was. 1) He’s hilarious 2) He lives in LA 3) Cooks an excellent baby lobster.

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