Last week was a tremendous week, chock full of accomplishments. Allow me to list a few highlights: 1) Rolled a 220 in Wii Bowling, crushing everyone in my path (one open frame); 2) Despite swearing to stay away from nosebleed tech earnings, made a low-risk, low-reward play on Apple literally one minute before the close on Tuesday, which resulted in a no-worry, immediate $500 (or, as I like to think about things, 30 jugs of Yellow Tail), and most importantly; 3) Somebody actually bought something via the Amazon link to the right! That rung me up for a sweet $11 – more than the webhosting costs, so I am a legitimate, no-shit professional writer now. People who call me “unemployed” can officially suck it.
Of course, this news changes a lot of things for me….I suppose I will have to start smoking…and definitely need a new living arrangement where I can have a desk with a typewriter by a ceiling-to-floor window, preferably by the ocean…will have to buy a lot more tweed…probably have to step up the drinking a few notches, maybe replace the wine with scotch…should also participate in a few brawls….will undoubtedly have to spend more time alone at bars, aiding strangers with cryptic, allusion-laden monologues (as I stare through the bottom of my glass)…do I have enough turtlenecks?….
Lots for me to do. Anyhoo, I’m hoping this week will be as phenomenal as last. Really the only even moderately negative thing that happened to me last week was the metamorphosis of the blister-on-blister area of my foot into a silver dollar-sized hole in my foot. Technically, I guess that happened this week since it was during my Saturday eight-miler – you know you had a pretty good week when you are struggling to thing of anything shitty that happened during that seven day period. There was that one day when I got to Dos Toros at 11:45 and there was already a seven-deep line, so I guess that was sub-optimal.
Am also pondering having a little contest to make things interesting around here. My first contest was apparently a little too difficult; hardly anybody even showed up in the Bahamas – only like three people even made the effort. This will be different, the prize will probably be an iPad to the person who helps spread the word about the site the best. This will allow me to experience the joy of buying a cool toy without suffering the guilt of never really using it. I’m still conceptualizing the idea; now that I’m a professional writer, I have considerably less time on my hands. I have to spend at least 30-45 minutes flipping through a thesaurus every day now, to better impress those lucky enough to be in my company. (At least for the morons who aren’t impressed by rolling a 220 in Wii bowling. 220! Turkey-Time!)
I predict there will be real posts on Tuesday and Thursday this week. Until then, let the smell of literary success sink in.