“When you don’t know what to write, just write any shit that comes to mind.” – Tolstoy
Cat vs. Eagle – I thought this would clearly be a rout in favor of the eagle, but the internet seems somewhat divided on the likely results. Apparently, many people own badass cats that kill wolves and shit. The cat that lives in my apartment is scared of pretty much everthing, including packets of fire sauce.
Taco Bell – I just had some: 2 hard-shell tacos, 1 cheesy double beef burrito (sublime) and a chicken quesadilla and about 60 packets of fire sauce. I was there at the crack of 10:30, first customer of the day. Is there a better way to kick off a Taco Tuesday?
Lost – For a show I’ve never seen one second of, it sure generates a lot of Entertainment Weekly covers. I’m assuming it’s got a bit of a Gilligan’s Island vibe, easily encapsulated episodes detailing that week’s wacky efforts to get off the island?
Nipples – It’s possible that I’ve chafed mine entirely away – now I know what breastfeeding mothers are always complaining about! I had to do a ten mile run on a treadmill yesterday, as for some reason it’s cold as shit and windy as shit in NYC, despite the fact that it is mid-May. We are running a half marathon on the 22nd, I shudder at the thought of having to give up alcohol for another week. Yikes.
Arrested Development – All the episodes just showed up on Netflix On Demand (or whatever you call the Netflix on PS3. Or Wii. If I could remember what my wifi password is, I could get netflix at least three different ways.) It’s good and all, but I’m not sure it merits all the superlatives it received during its brief run. The pacing is definitely different, and it’s possible that my terrible hearing is not giving me the full AD experience, as I think there’s a lot of humor in the throwaway lines. And Will Arnett is brilliant (but so frickin creepy, not sure he could ever play anyone remotely normal). Definitely a lot of talent and good writing, but I don’t think it’s as funny as this year’s top freshman sitcoms: Community and Modern Family. (It is infinity squared times better than Cougar Town, however.)
Content distribution – Is it possible there are too many ways to watch shit now? Your options used to be: watch a movie in the theater, rent the video, wait for it to hit HBO, or wait for it to hit regular tv. Or never see it, because it’s shit. Now, the tiers are never-ending. I can get movies from netflix (at least three different ways), movies on demand, the playstation network, internet piracy, straight to cell phone. WTF – no wonder I can’t think of anything to write about, I’m constantly inundated by shit. And I’m tired from running ten miles. And my nipples hurt.
Bling bling indeed,