Finally back from Aruba, clear of mind and burned of skin. I think I’ve figured out the new direction of the site. Still ruminating a bit. But thought it prudent to show the working folks how to blow it out down by the equator in high style.
1. Stay at a fly resort near the finest restaurants
2. Don’t skimp on the flashy watercraft
3. Make sure your beach is full of pastel-colored bird poop (to clarify: the birds should be pastel-colored, the poop fall anywhere on the color spectrum)
4. Ensure the local convenience stores have an ample supply of Funyuns (I am too lazy to take a photo of the bag labeled “Imported” – if you require proof, just come by my apartment. There are about 18 left – and, no, you can’t have any.)
5. Do not settle for eating at just one Yum! Brands establishment on your trip – seek out at least one other venue (the Pizza Hut rocked the fucking house with a pork sausage and mushroom joint straight out of 1988 – the don’t even use pork topping any more over here!)
Working my way back to productivity – enjoy the weekend,
P.S. We did literally hit Taco Bell every day when we were there – their plain tacos are phenomenal. And Pizza Hut once, too. No wonder Yum! Brands hit new all time highs every day that week. I only gained nine pounds – win/win.