Mad Men vs. Glee: A Question for Flint

Mad Men vs. Glee: A Question for Flint

As I’ve previously described numerous times, I’m pretty light on topics at the moment.  Too little Yellow Tail, too much responsible living; not much to chronicle.  I did run the New York Marathon this weekend; not that big of deal, really.  (Technically, I only ran my fingers over the interactive map on, but still felt like I captured the experience pretty closely.)  Anyway, back to laziness problem – occasionally, readers try to help me out – Stevette went so far as to suggest a ranking of the (young) ladies of Glee, after unsuccessfully (due to laziness, I started at one point) suggesting the same for Mad Men.  Stevette even went so far as to suggest that Lea Michelle (for the uninformed, the brunette in the notorious photo shoot above who is trying way, way too hard.  Pass.)  Or is it Michelle Lea?

Brief aside: sure, that GQ suit was pretty racy, but the Parents Television Council’s assertion that it “bordered on pedophilia” is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.  The actresses in question are each 24 years old.  Does that mean that consenting adults who enjoy a little diaper play in the comfort of their own homes are also borderline?  What about otherwise-upstanding citizens who enjoy intercourse while dressed up in plush dog/cat/cow/other costumes?  Borderline bestiality?  PTC, stick to what you are great at, like tracking the top curse words on television (and throw in a vote for “fucknugget” while you are tallying things up.)

So, my currently completely-deprived-of-creativity-(or-what-I-consider-creativity-at-least) mind, hit upon a brief stroke of genius: why not compare the women of Mad Men to the girls (and Jayma Mays) of Glee, answering once and for all one of the most pressing questions of the fall television season?  Then, for two seconds, I thought about it, and realized that – despite a resounding lead in nubileness (nubility?) – the Glee chicks would get shut out in such a competition, even if you went to like the fourth tier of women on MM.  I mean, seriously, Joan, Betty, Jane, new soon-to-be-Mrs. Draper – not to mention the random hotties they dig up for one-off appearances.  How then, to make this topic interesting enough to justify the significant (two minutes) time invested in grabbing these images (possibly illegally – the GQ one above can be found at – of all places –  And how can I do it with a minimum of further effort?

By throwing a scenario out to my man, Flint.  For the uninitiated, Flint is our resident expert in hitting-it-or-not/a staunch positive body image advocate.  Indicative of his taste in such matters, Flint has previously suggested that he’s borderline on drinking Joan’s bathwater.  (January Jones is also a solid choice, given that she and Ke$ha share a hygiene regimen.  Allow me to spell it out further: there would rarely be any bathwater to worry about.)  But what if we leveled the playing field a little bit, what then?

What Would Flint Do?  Threesome with Mercedes and Santana or Twosome with Joan?

These facial expressions are probably pretty reflective of the menage - I definitely see some boredom in there.


Caution: objects are actually larger than they appear.

Ambience: For the threesome, a nice suite at the Bellagio, some Sade playing softly in the background.  With Joan, you get the love-seat-sized sofa in my apartment, replete with cat odors and Coach reruns.  Bathwater, indeed.

What’ll it be, Flint?  (I’ll leave it to you to enumerate the virtues of each alternative, but I made sure to include Mercedes given your emphasis on “back.”  Santana seemed like a Flinty choice, but you are probably secretly a Quinn guy.)

Bonus Titillating Mad Men Anecdote (thanks – Draper’s Fiance Hooked up with Darryl in Hot Tub Time Machine!

She is only a 2 on the Joan Scale of Bustiness

According to the internet, Mrs. Draper-to-be’s most controversial oversized body parts are her teeth – I guess Joan makes everything relative.




3 thoughts on “Mad Men vs. Glee: A Question for Flint

  1. Pingback: World Spinner
  2. Well Chilly, I figured that since it took almost a month for you to post an update I could take a little time before giving you a response. Plus this is a HARD question. So hard that I kept thinking back to the Kobayashi Maru wondering if there was a way I could rig this scenario.
    I mean on the one hand, I have two women ready to do my nasty bidding (Just FYI – I have never watched an episode of Glee and don’t intend to so I’m only going off the pictures you posted) and on the other hand, I have a woman whose image I have used as spank material for the past two years. This is tough!
    I’ll tell you that at first glance I automatically leaned towards the ménage for a couple reasons: 1) because I have never had one (not that I haven’t tried); and 2) simple math — two 5’s make a 10 right? And in this case, at least from the pictures, it looks like I might have an 8 and 4 making a 12. Who could turn that down? However, after more consideration and a discussion with a mutual friend of ours I thought that a ménage with two girls you just met (who aren’t being paid) might be a little awkward. Our friend suggested that you might not get the best performances out of everyone involved. Specifically, you run the risk that the girls may hold back or be afraid to show me all of their tricks (you know all that first impression stuff).
    So that brings us to Joan and all the unholy things I want to do her. Then I remembered Joan’s attitude towards black people (yes there have been a couple of scenes….remember Paul’s black girlfriend in season 2) anyway I wondered if I would be scared that Joan might call the cops on me at some point thereby hampering my performance. On the flip side, though, it could work in my favor….maybe she’s in the mode to cross over to the dark side and be a little naughty.
    See what you did Chilly? I spent nearly a week talking myself into circles. So you know what the decision came down to? Location! At the end of the day, I didn’t really matter as much who I was with, I just knew that I REALLY didn’t like the idea of rolling around in dried up “Chilly juice” on your love seat. Not gonna happen.
    So I choose the Glee chicks…..after all two is always better than one right?

  3. Wait, you’re black??? A well-reasoned, inscrutable choice. You should watch Glee, it’s actually pretty good. The downside wouldn’t be so much any residual “Chilly juice” (naugahyde cleans up pretty nicely), but the fact that the “couch” is only 2.5 feet long and like 1 foot wide. That would likely only hold 1/3 of Joan’s ass (not to mention yours, since black guys are also known to have robust dimensions).

    Thanks, as always, for your input.

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