Forgotten Classics (or Old Things That Are Still Kind of Cool): Rock The Cradle of Love

Forgotten Classics (or Old Things That Are Still Kind of Cool): Rock The Cradle of Love

(Editor’s Note:  The image above is not “blurry” – I soaped a camera lense to give it a tasteful, arty look – need to class it up in here a little bit.  This image is in no way indicative of the fact that it’s hard to get a clean image of even an iconic video if it’s twenty or so years old.  Art.)

I love Billy Idol, let me be straight about that from the get-go.  (He’s even #1 on my list of Top Five Billys: #1. Idol  #2. Dee Williams  #3. Squier  #4. The Kid  #5. “White Shoes” Johnson  #343.  Zane)  As I may have mentioned on here no less than eighteen times, in 1993 my sole New Year’s Resolution was: listen to more Billy Idol.  Was 1993 the best year of my life?  Well, I’ll just say it’s unlikely to my Top 40 Shittiest Years of My Life list.  Of course, 1993 was pretty Vital Idol-centric, so “Rock The Cradle” doesn’t really get any extra credit for that whole positive vibe.  Anyway, if you’re like me, and on Friday nights you prefer to shun human contact, crack open 15oo mls of Yellow Tail (varietal: purple) and watch some old videos on Youtube while trolling furry message boards, you might want to revisit “RTCOL”.

A common occurrence in Chillyville

I remember watching the video twenty odd years ago and pondering why the pansy-assed middle-aged businessman was terrified of the teenager that walked into his house and interrupted his evening of wine-drinking and computer-using.  Now, that I’m the middle-aged pansy-assed (ex-) businessman, I understand his trepidation completely.  I was reluctant to even open the door last Friday night when I heard the triple knock.  Next thing you know, wine’s spilling everywhere, shirts are flying off and the stereo has a life of its own.  And what did I do?  Kept on reading a David Thorpe chat on  (Note: may not have been a random teenager, could possibly have been SO returning from a “girl’s night”.)

I analyzed this thing like the Zapruder film in an effort to educate/entertain the faithful.  (Or I watched it twice and read the wikipedia page – whatever, it was fucking exhausting.)  For instance, did you know David-fucking-Fincher directed this video???  You know, the guy who directed Fight Club, Seven (a film that, to this day, causes me to shudder when I think about it), Zodiac, A Curious Place for Benjamin’s Buttplug and The Social Network, among others?  This song was actually released to promote the an Andrew Dice Clay movie, so back in 1990 David Fincher was directing the videos for Andrew Dice Clay flicks.  Wow.

Then, there’s the young woman an/pro-tagonist – apparently she was in Point Break and then dropped off the face of the planet.  Seems like she had the makings of a star: pretty in a girl-next-door-who-might-also-be-selling-meth kind of way, excellent writher, could do the splits on a mattress, knew how to open a bottle of wine.  Betsy Lynn, if you happen to read this, drop us a line and let us know what you’re up to (don’t laugh, I got a comment on her from an original member of seminal 80s rap group The Boogie Boys; it could happen.)

Then there’s BI himself, making his presence felt in various Warhol-style paintings throughout dude’s apartment.  The part where she spills the wine on her top and takes it off, followed by Billy taking his jacket off slays me for some reason.  Probably the happiest you’ll ever see Billy Idol, he can barely manage a half-snarl.  The song is pretty decent, I guess, but the video is certainly stellar.  Good job, Fincher.



I’ve got some other longer, more hard-hitting posts in the hopper.  The hopper is my mind.  I’ve had to focus a little more energy than usual on my trading strategy, as I realized that I need money to eat stuff.  So I’m gonna get back to cranking some words, but I also have to do some mathematical type calculations to maximize my monetization.  And I’m trying to drink more.  I was getting kind of skinny so I’m stepping up the Y-Tail and late-night burritos diet.  Like right now, I’m drinking some purple and about to eat a fucking burrito.  (I was just in Austin last week, and let me tell you, they have some STRONG Mexican food out there.  Also, it’s not cold as fuck.)  And, I’m listening to Ke$ha.  (I might have to downgrade my lifestyle to single bling.)

I’ve been listening to a lot of Pandora lately, the Santigold station is the bomb.  From listening to that, I learned that Lykke Li is also awesome, too.  For me, finding two artists I like is golden enough, but then I somehow happened upon a collaboration of Lykke Li, Santigold and one of my all-time favorites Kanye West.  Sweet.  I highly recommend the video below if you ever find yourself smoking oven cleaner.



Finally – thanks to the person who bought a book on Amazon through here!  You fucking rule, G.  Only 5 more motherfuckers need to sign up to kick it up to 6%.  (Note: preferably one of those people will be purchasing office equipment for a large corporation.)




7 thoughts on “Forgotten Classics (or Old Things That Are Still Kind of Cool): Rock The Cradle of Love

  1. This post seems lonely without a comment.

    I’ll try to order some Xmas stuff through Amazon to get you closer to your car.

  2. Nice, TDiddy. I just assumed that was you that ordered the case of extra large anal beads and the pepperoni-scented lubricant. Call me, holmes, I left you a vmail.

  3. Well done, pal. I must say, though, you have Billy Zane ranked altogether too low… even Hansel (from ‘Zoolander’) thinks he’s a cool dude. A few questions:

    1.) Where does Billy Corgan rank on your list?
    2.) What are your plans for the holidays?
    3.) Why can’t I seem to get to sleep before 5 AM any night this week, even though I’ve been getting up at 8 every day, and getting more exercise than normal?

  4. Sambo! Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage. Corgan was better before he went full Stipe on us. Holidays down south for a bit then back to cold-assed nyc. Pondering what to do for New Year’s Eve and whatnot.

    I’m in the same boat re: sleep, didn’t go to sleep until 5:30 AM today. Usually, my lack of sleep is directly proportional to excessive boozing/tv. Exercise may be the culprit there – substitute some yellow tail in for the exercise and you should be good to go (to sleep)..

  5. Wow- I never made the connection between Corgan and Stipe, but now I totally see it. I always heard that Corgan was bi, though, and that Stipe was gay. Oh, well… they’re both overrated vocalists but decent songwriters (though Corgan gets the edge because he’s also a wicked-bad guitar player AND a huge baseball fan).

    Down south sounds cool for the holi-type-days. Yeah, I suppose excessive alcohol might be a better sleep aid than exercise. More funner, too.

  6. Silicone provides you with a clean male masturbator that’s easily
    sanitized and will be used anywhere. Upon buying these vibrators, people will get free batteries as well as the delivery is discreet.
    From the ninth to the twelfth centuries Japanese menn packaged theirr penises in a anhimal shaped paper sculpture.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.