Ten Things Cam Newton and James Franco Have In Common
1. Both needlessly volunteered to do something on a grand stage last Sunday, then sucked at doing what they needlessly volunteered for.
2. Both were probably dicks to new kids in high school, calling them mean names and stuff.
3. Both made more than $200k in 2010.
4. Both have thrown a laptop out a window.
5. Both more than likely own at least one mesh half-shirt.
6. Both are committed to higher education, attending multiple academic institutions in a short time frame.
7. Both auditioned (unsuccesfully) for the breakdance crew Beat Freaks.
8. Both have written and performed dramatic reproductions of classic Three’s Company episodes (formats: Franco – traditional play, Newton – interpretative dance).
9. Both hate squash (further, both hate both kinds of squash the fruit/vegetable and the sport)
10. Both helped assuage my guilt at not posting anything this week by providing me this flimsy, but quickly-executed, “concept.”