Search Me

Search Me


This site has been around for over two years now – I can’t even remember 75% of the stuff that I’ve put on here at this point – and gets a fair amount of inbound traffic from the search engines.  Most of the searches are for such important topics as “top candy bars,” “ugly baby fnl,” or “gaga poetry,” but I get a bit of “long tail” search traffic.  “Long tail,” in the parlance of SEO experts, means “weird shit that people type in google that somehow leads back to your site.”   Take a look.



50 Random Search Terms That Somehow Led People Here in April/May

(My comments in parentheses where appropriate, like right here)


1.  why is my urine the same color as red bull  (I don’t believe I typed this after last Friday night, but I certainly could/should have)

2.  fiery habanero doritos dipped in cream cheese  (Fodder for a future column)

3.  grave cereal

4.  will micronauts ever come back  (One can hope)

5.  banking ties brooks eurotrash

6.  mom wins drinking contest  (Good job, Mom)

7.  solitary drinking games  (I have seen this numerous times – hilarious or sad?)

8.  in the girl with the dragon tattoo was the lead actress anally raped?  (Between this and all the “funyuns anal leakage” searches I’m starting to feel typecast)

9.  americas best dance crew ticker symbol

10.  office edicate bluetooth heads set

11.  shia labeouf screech

12.  chantix and wine

13.  paralyzed by the exaggerated bling  (Look away then)

14.  is cat deeley a complete bitch?  (Bite your fucking tongue)

15.  half shirt breakdance  (Chelsea gym member, no doubt)

16.  is it okay to eat funyuns if you have high cholestrol

17.  spencer pratt investment banker -hills -montag

18.  eddie munster s hairline

19.  taco bell mesh shorts  (Fantastic idea)

20.  wasted potential running shirts  (Also solid)

21.  could i be a foot model  (I certainly could)

22.  honey badger buttons  (I don’t recommend pushing them)

23.  ode to sheneneh

24.  drinking game for the movie hoosiers

25.  kristen wiig smoking pipe

26.  gq running brioni he knows a guy at the label

27.  what is carly foulkes motivation?  (Not sure, but I’m guessing being hot and making money?)

28.  what does wasabi kit kat taste like  (I see this a lot, too – it tastes like fucking wasabi-laced KitKat, okay?)

29.  joe rogan newsradio unabomber

30.  the running man too violent  (The movie or the dance?)

31.  jeremy piven full frontal  (Why?  And how the hell did you get directed here???)

32.  del scorcho vs. del inferno  (Scorcho for taste, inferno for heat)

33.  what font is used for charvet

34.  natalie portman works out

35.  elizabeth perkins fucking

36.  lady gag as anti pants movement  (Interesting typo, works a few different ways)

37.  omar little bastard  (I hope this is trying to find Kenard, he was the little bastard)

38.  im not a great conversationalist

39.  craps giger beer  (These are a few of my favorite things)

40.  best drinking games with the ipad

41.  how many cabs in a chick-o-stick  (Sounds like a Nice N Smooth jam)

42.  zooey deschanel aspergers

43.  drink his bathwater that would be nice  (For who?)

44.  i cant hit 80 mph baseballs

45.  malt liquor martini

46.  trends in pubic hair  (Mention it once in your website, suddenly you’re an expert)

47.  jenny eat something  (Always double down on 11)

48.  the wash sale rule is a fucking joke  (Preaching to the choir, brother)

49.  everyone thinks i m great except my ex

50.  were flamin hot cheetos ever purple







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