Yeah, I could make this look slightly better, but would take roughly 15 hours - thought that counts
The line between “liquid soap-like product to cleanse myself” and “possible granola topping” gets thinner every day, as products like Oatmeal Lavender Ginger Exfoliating Scrub aim to completely replace old-fashioned stuff like bars of soap. The Cucumber, Olive Oil and Honey variants dominate most of the shelf space, so here’s a shout-out to those flavors relegated to the very back of the top shelf.
Top Ten Least Popular Body Wash Scents (alternatively: Bottom Ten Body Wash Fragrances, as Ranked by Popularity)
10. Syphilitic Bikini Bottom Scrub (with AntiOxidant Pearls)
9. Shaq’s Game-Worn Jersey Mist
8. Highway Underpass Lean-To Breeze
7. DMV Urinal Rejuvenating Rinse
6. Damp Dog Bed Delight (with Incontinent English Bulldog Sparkles)
5. Mom’s Homestyle Lasagna Moisturizing Creme (with Revitalizing Ricotta Ribbons)
4. Body Essence Wash (with Hint of Cabdriver’s Breath)
3. Pomegranate Cleansing Foam (with Lunch Meat Oil)
2. Macau Baccarat Ashtray Relaxation Gel
1. Teenage Tube Sock Moisturizing Wash (w/ Aloe and Tartar Sauce)
(Editor’s Note: Given a chance in my lifestyle circumstances, I’ll likely be posting more. Could be dumb stuff, experimental stuff, more commercial stuff – who knows? Drop me a line if there’s something you think I should address in these hallowed pages.)
Later,
Chilly17
