1 Bag Funyuns
1 Jar HEB That Green Sauce (Medium)
Carefully open jar of HEB That Green Sauce (Medium) by grasping the lid and applying pressure gradually in the counter-clockwise direction. (Note: can be opened with clockwise pressure, but is not recommended.) Once removed, place the lid a safe distance away from the open jar of That Green Sauce. Place the open jar of That Green Sauce in the middle of the sauté pan (or skillet) that is presumably located safely on the stove.
Second, open the Funyuns container by pinching the very middle of the top portion of the bag and pulling the pinched sections apart in a bag-opening manner. Be moderate in your use of force when opening the bag, lest you lose some precious morsels. Once the bag is open, place it near the sauté pan/jar of That Green Sauce, but not so close to the That Green Sauce lid that there is danger of getting That Green Sauce on the bag of Funyuns.
The next step is the most critical to maximize the sauté benefits of the easy-to-prepare entree. Have the ceremonial head of the dinner party remove a ring (or shard, as the case may be) from the bag of Funyuns and then immerse it in That Green Sauce. Depending on familiarity with the other diners, I’d recommend keeping the finger portion of your hand out of That Green Sauce itself.
Hold the now That Green Sauce-immersed Funyun above the jar for a full 19 seconds, to allow any renegade That Green Sauce to retreat back to the jar – as opposed to wasting any That Green Sauce in the stove area. Quickly deposit the That Green Sauce/Funyun taste sensation into your mouth. Continue as desired. If this is a meal for multiple people, I’d recommend a layup-line approach to the stove area: rotate in, rotate out, weave, motion, efficiency.
If there is a break in the action – remember to use the Extra Virgin Olive Oil bottle to preserve the integrity of the Funyuns’ barrier against air. If you are keeping the bag of Funyuns on your stovetop for easy access, remember not to place the Olive Oil container atop a burner, as the stability of the burners is weak compared to the flatness of the ‘top itself (and, presumably, of any adjacent countertops.)
Cleanup is a snap: the jar of That Green Sauce will be empty, so deposit it into your recycling. The Funyuns may – or may not – be finished, depending on the size of the bag (that’s what she said?); follow normal protocol when disposing of the Funyun bag.
That’s all there is to it! Healthy, convenient and delicious: a quick meal sure to satisfy even the most picky eaters! All the healthy vegetable goodness of green and yellow stuff, combined with the tastiness of kind of spicy stuff and fried corn meal. Even the Mikey of your family will love it!
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