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Category: Daily Grind

The Top Ten Things About Having To Use A Coin-Operated Laundry

The Top Ten Things About Having To Use A Coin-Operated Laundry

laundry rooms are cool if you have quarters
Full disclosure: I didn't take this picture, my machines are only $1.25

10.  Opportunity to precisely determine the loading at which the handle on $7 laundry bag will slice completely through my hand

9.  For those that find Austin’s summer climate too moderate, laundry room can really replicate that surface-of-the-sun experience

8.  Found some sweet boxers in the mystery pile once

7.  Chance to peruse a variety of handwritten guitar-teaching or dog-watching advertisements

6.  Gives one a great appreciation for paying cash for items that cost $1.07

5.  An excellent forum for shouting at people you’ve never met but happen to live five feet from

4.  Emptying the lint filter provides a strong sense of self-worth

3.  “Laundry room state of disrepair” is a social issue I can get behind

2.  Sweating my way back up the hill to my apartment is an excellent time to reflect upon my time spent in the 1%

1.  It’s like participating in a live-action role-playing adventure: Quest for Quarters

Well At Least One Disney-Owned Media Company Reads My Emails

Well At Least One Disney-Owned Media Company Reads My Emails

Vernon Davis San Francisco 49ers vs. New Orleans Saints 2012 NFL playoff game
Roman Harper with an excellent touch football tackle

 

Mike Sando over at ESPN’s NFC West blog was kind enough to answer a recent question I had (okay, “Chilly from New York” is currently inaccurate, but “Chilly from Hugemosquitoville” didn’t have the same ring to it) about providing some historical perspective on Vernon Davis’ 2012 playoff run.  I was too lazy to look it up, but two games of basically five catches for 150 yards and two touchdowns seemed like a ridiculous output, even for today’s Gronkowskified NFL.  Sando obliged – what’s up beeyotch’s of The View?  Are you ever going to give me that chance to respond like you said you would?  Call me!

Later,

Chilly17

Modest Site Redesign In Progress

Modest Site Redesign In Progress

I have been meaning to make some stylistic changes to this site for some time, unfortunately my busy schedule (the rest of the internet isn’t going to read itself) has prevented me from sitting down and really understanding how to improve the user experience here at WaPo.  Luckily, I stumbled upon knowledge from a group of internet marketing gurus (fun fact: I took zero marketing classes at business school) that really know how to make a website crackle.

One of the things that the gurus highly recommend is increasing your site’s profile on social networking sites.  Apparently a key element to creating a real sense of community amongst your readers is to seamlessly integrate the various social platforms within the readers’ interactions with your site itself.  However, as with many things in life, there must be a balance to your efforts – generally, it seems, subtlety will be rewarded.  Readers don’t necessarily want to be bombarded with reminders of their other virtual “obligations” such as foursquaring that they are at PetSmart shopping for hamster sweaters or updating their secret AshleyMadison profile.  But in this contemporary age, a gentle reminder, or “call to action” can go a long way in increasing a sites value in today’s currency of “Likes,” “Recommends” and “Not Bads.”

Implementing these concepts in a visually compelling way does not come easily to me, given my limited knowledge of HTML and really anything other than googling endlessly for answers to questions like “Why the f*ck is the spacing so f*cked up on wordpress?  why doesn’t it just put a space where i put a space?? Why???”

Couple my coding ineptitiude with being a bit of a newcomer to the concept of social media – having long preferred nonsocial media such as watching bumfights and arguing with internet strangers over whether Drive made any fucking sense whatsoever – has made revamping the site a daunting task.  However, I think I’m finally starting to understand a little bit how this whole thing works.  For example, Twitter is much more powerful platform for receiving unwanted advertisements for unneeded services than email has ever been.  It is also phenomenal for receiving unsolicited Follows from fictional females – you can even see their fictional faces, a personal touch that email subject lines only wish they could offer.

 

So I’m hoping that some of my small changes will impart a kind of subliminal “call to action” – where you, the reader, are so ensconsced in the thought-provoking content relating to food, feet or ugly babies, that you barely notice the hint of request in the air.  Just because this site does not have a product to sell, really – other than inane thoughts from an uninformed person – doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be some marketing going on up in here.  A careful evaluation of my traffic quality indicates there is opportunity, verified by feedback from the internet marketing gurus.

Looking at my stats last month, my traffic broke down like this:

  • Human visitors: 6
  • Romanian spambots: 5,207
  • Comment spambots: 1,312 (thanks, Akismet!)
  • People who misspelled  bakedpotato.com

 

With traffic like that, it’s clearly time to focus on monetization.  Sure, one way would be to sell out to a major corporation or media conglomerate, but I really want to protect the integrity of the site, and my ability to not do anything for weeks at a  time if I so desire.  Similarly, a public stock offering would subject me to the whims of shareholders, and I cannot be sure that each of my six human readers would agree to serve on my Board of Directors.  I will have to figure out an approach that is neither cumbersome nor detracts from the aesthetics of the site, but encourages readers to do things that cause me to get money, traffic, or perhaps even additional Follow requests from imaginary females on the Twitter.  Maybe another iPad giveaway?  I’ll keep thinking about it, there must be some mutually beneficial way to get things done around here and keep this place looking sweet as always.

Hard-hitting new post hopefully by Friday.  Friday of which week TBD.

Later,

Chilly17