Archive for the ‘Randomness’ Category
Some Friday Stuffs
Posted by: chilly17 in Randomness on August 14th, 2009
1. Mad Men returns! (Avoid if relative attractiveness and well-dressedness are self esteem issues for you)
2. District 9 looks sweet, hoping to check it out this afternoon. I’ve skipped the details but the reviews from top critics look encouraging. This will be my first chance to apply my South African knowledge/experience, I should certainly be able to verify the film’s cultural and historical accuracy.
3. So You Think You Can Dance did not screw the pooch. It looked like Evan, the dorky white dude, might win given his enormous “fan base” or “group of similar dorks with access to telephones.” He was terrible. Ultimately the judges came right out and said “if you continue to vote for Evan, then you are a fucking moron.” In something of an upset, Jeanine won – she was a bit disadvantaged working (and possibly boning) the one-dimensional Phillip Chbeeb for half the season. Nice outcome. It’s a little shocking that the last two girls were only 18 or so, given how objectified the women typically are on this show. I guess if “dancer” is the professional path you’ve chosen, you are need to quickly get used to prancing around 90% naked in front of a lot of people.
The huge downside to the season’s end is that Evan’s fucking balding older brother is on the next season of SYTYCD. That season starts in like two weeks, so that means I will be subjected to more of this broadway-loving, camera-mugging retard family. Hopefully that older one doesn’t make the top 20 and we can be done with this quickly.
Again, you should be watching this show. For reasons I cannot accurately convey, it is highly enjoyable. As is America’s Best Dance Crew, which is also back on Sunday nights on MTV. Haven’t watched the first episode yet, but I’m certain it will maintain its high level of excellence. Watch them both.
Find the dissimilar item
4. KFC is very popular in South Africa. It’s by far the busiest spot in the Joburg airport and a standalone store in Cape Town was also going gangbusters. I hear, but haven’t personally verified, the same about its popularity in China. Combine that with the outstanding quality of the Nachos Supreme and Meximelt I had yesterday at the 14th and 5th T-Bell/Hut, and you’ve got a reason to buy some YUM Brands shares. Ticker symbol? YUM. I might have to add to my already deep position.
5. One of the Kardashians is pregnant? Awesome, further advancement of the gene pool. I really don’t understand why anyone gives a shit about that family? Is it their propensity to date second tier professional athletes (sorry, Reggie, you are not even one of the better third down backs in the league)? Kim has a big ass and was wheelbarrowed by Ray J on film. The other ones get pregnant or arrested for DUI. And now there’s a new show with the non-Kim ones, with ads plastered all over my regular reads like The Economist, US Weekly, and The Atlantic. I am seriously concerned about our society as a whole; at this point having all the mouthbreathers strapped into The Matrix pods looks like an optimistic outcome.
The one thing I find even remotely interesting about the Kardashian family is Bruce Jenner and how he’s handling the transition from ostensible “One of the Five Most Famous People in the World” following 1976 Olympic gold medal to bumbling husband/stepfather to (apparently) amoral, star-fucking, fame-seeking gold digger clan. He seems to enjoy remote control helicopters and facelifts, but he is also the voice of reason/moral center of the household, so I’d say he’s faring pretty well.
6. Happy Madden Day! As one of the first people to own a Playstation in the U.S. (it debuted in September 1995 and I got mine in either October or November after uncannily predicting that eight weeks of Groton winter would be akin to a stint in Siberia) I can lay claim to a pretty rich, if dated, gaming history. Shockingly I have never played Madden. When I bought my Playstation, I opted for NFL Gameday, likely because it had William Floyd on the cover. It was pretty complicated so I quickly gave up. Then on my boat we played some NFL Blitz, which I also quickly abandoned as one of my mentally challenged colleagues figured out how to make Mark Bruener of his beloved Steelers open every single play. Even though he averaged less than one catch per game in his real career, that fucking Bruener would score like seven TDs per game against my virtual Niners.
I hate football video games, because I suck at them. But I do admire the Madden franchise and the fact that they’ve made its annual release a virtual holiday for slackers, nerds and sports enthusiasts alike. Nice work. Enjoy the holiday.
7. ”Make Her Say” – Pretty cool song combining some of my favorite things: Kid Cudi (check out “Day and Night” if unfamiliar with his oeuvre), Kanye and Lady Gaga. Common too, but I’ve never been a big fan. This song was originally called “I Poke Her Face” which for some reason the producers felt might not be radio friendly. Those fickle marketers.
One complaint – can we please quit rhyming “medulla oblongata”? Whodini was doing that shit like 25 years ago, so it isn’t exactly fresh. And, Kanye, I know I’ve heard it from you at least as many times as you’ve rhymed “knowledge” and “college.” Anyway, nice collaboration here.
8. How quickly the scales of the court of public opinion shift – is that too wordy? I was trying to evoke that blindfolded lady holding the scale with right on one side and wrong on the other or whatnot. Anyway, about six months ago everyone felt sorry for that Jon Gosselin fellow because his wife seemed a raging controlling bitch. Now he’s sporting Ed Hardy gear, earrings, banging random chicks and hanging out with Lindsay Lohan’s dad and everyone fucking hates him. Hopefully, if you are reading this, you don’t fucking care. I generally don’t fucking care either, except for the fact that I am besieged by his doofus image in much of the highbrow media I consume.
But one thing really got me riled up, he recently quoted about some new girlfriend: “she loves me for who I am, not for what I do.” What exactly do you do, beyond over-employing fertilization routines and tv crews? Seriously, this guy has no fucking job, he got canned. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, many of the smartest, most attractive and hilariousest people get canned) But seriously, what does this fucking guy do? I am seriously getting sick of these reality “stars” – of the shows I don’t watch, of course.
All the single ladies, form an orderly line!
9. I recommend checking out some Florence + The Machine if you are hurting for new music. She sounds a little like Natalie Merchant on a dianabol cycle to me. I favor the lady singers, so there’s always the chance I’m overenthusiastic. “Kiss With a Fist” is pretty sweet but the video is tres lame, so I offer “Dog Days” instead.
10. Since it didn’t make sense to stop at #9, here’s a herd of buffalo:
A Gary Larson wet dream
Have a swell weekend,
Chilly17, wasted potential personified
I’m Not a Great Conversationalist
Posted by: chilly17 in Randomness on July 20th, 2009
This GQ image relates in no way to the text below
I went to a party on Friday and managed to keep alive my streak of being the most immature person in the room – this was challenging given that I had at least a 15 year life experience advantage on the average attendee. I am still hung over a solid 48 hours later. Just maybe, like a cop on the verge of retirement faced with his most personal and challenging (yet potentially life-affirming) case, I’m getting too old for this shit. But in the course of this social gathering, I did recognize my own shortcomings as a conversationalist (and/or normal person). In my constant quest for complete self awareness, I noted that I am only capable of discussing a vary narrow list of topics.
Stuff I Can Have a Conversation About (In Order of Occurrence):
1. The Mets suck, motherfucker! (I run into lots of Mets fans)
2. Have you seen The Wire?
3. I fucking hate the Mets, man, boy do they suck!
4. Would you care to hear some gambling stories?
5. I mean, they fucking really fucking suck, dood, seriously the fucking Mets fucking stink. I’m a Braves fan, man, so glad the fucking sorry-assed Mets took Francoeur’s sorry ass.
6. My favorite character on The Wire is probably Bunk. Or Carver. Did you see that one where Bunk set his clothes on fire when he had a one night stand? That was awesome.
That’s basically it. This certainly will not stand. I used to be something of a bon vivant, capable of thoughtful discourse on any number of topics, including religion, politics, wine, food, sport, the theatre. You name it, my bizarre yet versatile educational/vocational background allowed me to nimbly navigate the social strata. Okay, none of that shit was true, but I certainly had a broader repertoire than “Mets suck/Wire rules” – I’ve seen comments on cracked.com that are more substantive than my current social set pieces. One great thing about being so fucking self aware is it provides you with a list of things to improve on (or to ignore and allow to fester and become debilitating).
Mrs. Roddick, from SI. Why is this picture even here?
To improve my social capabilities, I vow to spend some time on the following:
1. Broaden viewing of topical television shows that I missed: I will rent The O.C. and Gilmore Girls DVDs so I’m in better touch with the youth of today. I want to know the story behind those sweet ”Free Marissa Cooper” tee shirts.
2. Become more well-read: I will pay particular attention to the the copies of Us Weekly and OK! that are lying around the apartment; all that SmartMoney reading has increased neither my level of smart nor my level of money.
3. Pay more attention to the channels further down the channel guide: After experiencing the particular genius of Ninja Warrior, and learning it’s been going on for years, I initially felt like a pop cultural failure. I will not let the post-channel-30 locations of the G4s, FitTVs, Fuses, C-SPAN-3s, etc. scare me away from potentially excellent, and socially relevent, programming any longer. (Hopefully there are also more ninja-focused shows out there.)
4. Hang around the liquor store to see what’s new in the world of alcohol: Did you know there’s a new vodka that tastes like fucking sweet tea? Seriously, Firefly vodka. It tastes like fucking sweet tea. Read that again – and it’s still 35% hooch. Throw some lemonade in that bitch and you are set with an alcoholic Arnold Palmer. (Thanks, ‘Pril) I have spent considerable time and energy working on a chili verde burrito-flavored vodka, with little success thus far. This tea-flavored ‘ka is an evolutionary step up the “alcohol that tastes like something else that is delicious but will still get you drunk” ladder.
5. See more movies: I need to go see that Bruno – no one captures the cultural zeitgeist like Mr. Baron Cohen with his guerrilla performance art pieces. I’ve gotta get on board with the hilarious catch phrases. ”I’m Bruno!” Haha, that’s hilarious in and of itself.
6. Experience different foods: In that vein, I will today try the Bacon Cheesy Potato Burrito at T-Bell. I have never tried any of the “bacon” products at The Bell, and for good reason: their other products are already fucking fantastic. And really the only bacon I need I get on the Atlantis Club at Murray’s Deli. But I’m ready to take this drastic gastronomic step in my quest for self improvement. I will probably also get a Volcano Burrito, too. That sounds pretty good.
We’ll see how this goes.
(Editor’s Note #1: I’m still kicking myself for omitting my couplet “sat down for some online poker, yo, messed around and won a $50 sit n go” from “Wednesday Was A Good Day.” Dammit.)
(Editor’s Note #2: You may wonder why there are like 100 pictures of girls in swimsuits today. Good question. Given that my traffic has increased 17,000% since the debut of Megan Fox in a swimsuit, I’ve realized that it’s not the hours of painstakingly crafted content that will help this place grow. It’s nubile young ladies in swimsuits. The inner artist sheds a tear. Apologies to the four females that read this site (SO, Railbird, Mom, maybe Mrs. C-Note) but at least I’m providing some good swimsuit ideas.)
(Editor’s Note #3: Tomorrow I’m coming back to my crappy jobs list, but I’ve gotten to that point where they aren’t that crappy. So don’t be alarmed if the title is modified slightly, it’s not an entirely new list.)
Marisa Miller is in good shape
Chilly17
A R.I.P and a Mailbag Alert
Posted by: chilly17 in Pop Culture, Randomness on June 30th, 2009
Couple orders of business today, before I get back to the regularly scheduled tripe. First, last Thursday was a sad day for any children of the late 70′s/early 80′s. I will add more about Farrah tomorrow in a separate post, but I do want to mention that her obituary in the paper of record is garbage. You’re telling me the author of that piece couldn’t focus a little more on what she was than what she wasn’t? Bullshit – I’d take Farrah’s legacy any day (if I was, you know, a woman). Alessandra Stanley, this piece reads like the expunging of petty high school demons (ie a smite upon one of the pretty, popular girls).
Anyway, the Farrah news got sadly overshadowed by the MJ news. I think for most the news of Michael Jackson’s death wasn’t that shocking given the amount of prescription drugs one presumed he was taking – the physical tolls of touring, dancing and performing alone would probably result in some chronic aches and pains, not to mention the insane amounts of plastic surgery he subjected himself to. His premature death did allow people to stop for a moment and consider his substantial contributions to music, dancing and popular culture in general.
Most of the tributes were somewhat reserved, given the allegations of child molestation that dogged him, but ultimately Michael will be given a pass historically because he was (allegedly) never really allowed to grow up, living in a preadolescent fantasy environment throughout his adulthood. I’m not sure I believe the suggestions that years of abuse (physical? sexual?) and the pressure of early stardom set him on an irreversible course, but there’s little to be gained from further speculation, and there is no disputing how incredible he was as a performer and his impact on global, not just American, pop culture. He was about to do 50 (largely sold out) shows in London! That’s the definition of enduring appeal.
Jesus, this is the most serious I’ve ever been on this website – I’m pretty sure I will win a Hugo, Pulitzer or web equivalent for this. Marking an official end to this “serious” phase, here is one of my favorite MJ (as part of The Jacksons) tunes, the underrated “State of Shock.” For some reason, the real video where the Jacksons were in some kind of spaceship appears to have been wiped from the universe, but this clip has some concert snippets and what appears to be an entire Pepsi commercial.
Mailbag Alert!
The other topic I wanted to cover was originally suggested by top commenter TDiddy. That’s right, the first ever wastedpotentialz.com mailbag! I receive a decent stream of questions running the gamut from tarded to retarded. So if you have a question, send it in – most of the queries I receive are about business school, life on the Street or random pop culture stuff. Email me at chilly@wastedpotentialz.com or drop a question in the comments. I will pick the most stimulating ones that do not violate any local or federal laws.
Sample question:
Q: Chilly, you have to choose between one of the following two options. Makeup, surgery, etc are not allowed to obfuscate either alternative – only clothing reasonably expected to be worn by an average citizen is allowed.
Would you rather have:
a.) Peter Criss’ makeup permanently tattooed to your face, or
b.) A second penis located on the right side of your abdomen, exactly half-way between your armpit and your waist. (For clarity’s sake, a penis only, no testicles involved – testiclez if you want to keep your format intact)
I wrote a 6,000 word response to this question, replete with decision trees, regression analyses, potential psychological, vocational and social considerations, etc and then realized that I probably provide a greater service to my readers by posting the response for everyone to read, just in case this exact situation ever presents itself to one of them.
Option A (Option B not shown)
Til tomorrow,
Chilly17
