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Well, as my first week as a “website content provider” draws to a close, i have to say that: 1) I’m actually kind of drunk this time (Yellow Tail Shiraz + America’s Best Dance Crew Finale + 6 $15 martinis at some fancy hotel bar = I’m exhausted) and 2) even this weak effort has been about 10x harder than i imagined it would be…(yes, i use way too many ellipses, but that’s the way this sounds in my mind)

those 2000+ word posts have been taking like 4 hours to write, even though: 1) they are lame, and 2) they are about near and dear topics that are ostensibly easier to opine about. But i did promise to myself that i would put some content on my fledgling site; back when i was a part of the working world, i highly valued the rare web article that was fairly interesting, entertaining and  long enough to endure my Grilled Stuft Burrito and Double Decker Taco lunch…there wasn’t actually much out there….now if i just had anything interesting to say!…anyway, i am going to post 3 longish entries per week (given my trading, drinking and gym visits, there isn’t a whole lot of free time, even for the COBRA-enhanced) at a minimum….feel free to comment in the posts as i haven’t been referred to as “fuckhead” nearly enough in my unemployed months.

Thursday Observations:

#1:  The Market - It seriously cannot be this simple making money on the short side of the market – it’s almost guaranteed that my venture to the short side will lead to the squeeze of all squeezes….but stay tuned if you are in the equity markets – i think Dow 6000 is likely but heaven forbid Dow 5000…full disclosure: Dow 5000 and i will probably need to stay at your place for a couple weeks.

#2  Terrell Owens - Was there really a lot of internal debate about this on the ‘Boys?  I seriously fucking hate the Cowboys (N iners fan since 1980 – feel free to blow me with your “frontrunner” accusations – they’ve sucked for 10+ years – but HAVE won a playoff game since the ‘Boys have) but i think this clearly makes them better…alligator arms, team cancer, major distraction at all times…one interesting note is that one of my VPs when i was an investment banking associate at Tarp Bank 1 was his training camp roommate in 1996.  This VP was an enormous dude (all-SEC defensive end at Vandy) and he said Owens had the biggest hands of anyone he’d ever known.  Jesus.  

#3 – Watchmen –  I’m probably going to see this tomorrow at like 4:15, but a lot of that is because my schedule is fucking awesome.  I know they’ve advertised out the ying yang and the graphic novel is considered a Michelangelo-ish masterpiece, but i just can’t imagine this really killing the box office.  Maybe $120-150 million total domestic receipts.  Grim subject matter, uber violent, and zero chance of a sequel (unless they REALLY made changes) …I haven’t seen the film yet, and this is taboo to admit, but i didn’t think the novel was really that great (but i read it in 2006, not 1986)….but Rorschach is the fucking bomb….probably the literary embodiment of “uncompromising.”

#4 – Submarine Training – One vignette i forgot to mention…the first thing you learn to do on a submarine is be the shift engineering officer (“Engineering Officer of the Watch” or EOOW in Navy parlance).  One of the key things you had to do was give orders over the main microphone.  Sounds pretty easy – say a couple words, the crew carries out your orders.  There were very strict acceptable phraseologies – never “increasing/decreasing” because they sound too much the same…”raising/lowering” was the only way to go.  

Prototype, that second phase of training i referenced in my previous post, was the first place we actually took the MIC as EOOW.  (I was in Charleston, SC – which i am almost sure was the only city in America in 1995 where you could still stop for 3 seperate freight trains within a 2 mile driving radius)….i was absolutely petrified during my first “watch”; one of the first, very simplistic orders i had to give was “Start Main Coolant Pumps 1 and 2″….sweating literally buckets, i grabbed the mike like the eager Rabbit and 8 Mile and offered “Start Main Poolant Cunts 1 and 2″….took a while to restore order….

Aside from being an aspiring pundit, i am also trying to scratch out some cash by trading my (rapidly shrinking) personal account.  Clearly not bearish enough, i’m down about 10% since mid-january…sadly this is in-line with my historical performance…i think a jug of yellowtail and some online poker is in order ($10 sit-n-gos are mega-baller)…

Here’s a pretty sweet music video with a decent gym song – bonus points for showing some outlandish things to do to really drunk people (aside from the usual penis drawings)…

…creating a website to keep track of my amazing exploits.   Since getting blown out of investment banking, i have been able to achieve my life’s ambition: doing whatever the fuck i want, all day.  I think we’ve all had the Office Space conversation (what would you do if you didn’t have to do anything), and most people have either significant ambition or a desire to better themselves, the world, etc.  Me?  I’m pretty much okay with reading the internet, grabbing some Qdoba, taking a nap and then reading some more internet until it’s a reasonable enough hour to start drinking some Yellowtail.  

The purple label, cab/shiraz blend, is fucking delicious, no matter what all you wine snobs think…pair that with some Fiery Habanero Doritos and you are set for an hour or two (depending on whether you went for the magnum)…

So anyway, in lieu of my annoying long emails, i have started this site and will put all my ruminations, musings, insights here.   Brutally honest feedback appreciated – after being in the military and a banker i’m pretty used to constructive criticism (“you are a fucking moron, how could you do that?!?”)…