The Only (Sweet) Condiment You’ll Ever Need: Jif Chocolate (or Nutella if you must)

The Only (Sweet) Condiment You’ll Ever Need: Jif Chocolate (or Nutella if you must)

Nutell and Jif Chocolate are outrageously deliciousThis will likely come as a surprise given my affection for food items that reasonable adults shouldn’t really be eating, but I only recently tried Jif Hazelnut Spread (yes, it’s just Nutella in an easier to manage container) for the first time.  I might run a little behind the times in the spreadable-morning-type-foods category – I didn’t have my first bagel until I was 20.  (In my household, all “religious” foods were shunned for fear that consumption would cause radical evangelism.)  I’m pretty sure I had Nutella once before – in a NYC-street-fair crepe, paired with bananas and powdered sugar.  However the Nutella didn’t really stand out to me at the time, as there was a lot going on in that concoction, and one has to use discretion when evaluating street fair food.  So when I stumbled upon what appeared to be an empty bottle of Jif that had been refilled with chocolate sauce, my expectations were low.  I threw a piece of oatmeal toast in the TO (that’s what toaster oven owners refer to their TOs as) and enjoyed a culinary delight that combined the warm crunchy texture of peanut buttery toast with the debauchery of drink/eating a candy bar that’s been on the dashboard in direct sunlight for a little too long.

As I discussed my new find with other folks, I heard the same story over and over again: “yeah, that stuff is delicious, but don’t be fooled – it is NOT good for you!”  Luckily, I was able to sniff that one out without any research – my keen intuition suggested that spoonfuls of chocolate sauce might not be the nutritional equivalent of broccoli.  Basically this spread tastes like a Toffifay – which on taste alone had a chance to make this esteemed list– but without the pain in the ass of the worst packaging in the candy industry.  Put another way, it tastes like that damn hazelnut coffee smells – without the pain in the ass of drinking a cup of coffee.  This stuff goes good on anything you’d normally put like jelly, jam, peanut butter, cream cheese, marinara sauce on – you could also probably make a nice mole sauce if you were into that kind of thing.  I like to put a spoonful in my oatmeal – then it’s like eating a mushy candy bar with a spoon.  Just be careful – it’s apparently not good for you (but if you eat it with oatmeal – which IS good for you – isn’t that a push?)  And don’t worry, Sriracha – I haven’t foresaken you.  (Sriracha at $2.64/bottle at Wal-Mart in Arkansas represents the greatest arbitrage opportunity since Kramer and Newman figured out how to get a mail truck to Michigan.)

toffifay foil packaging
Way too many Toffifays find their way to the dirty-assed floor thanks to the infernal foil tray


Editor’s Update/What I’ve Been Up To:  I think as of my most recent update I’d mentioned additional upheaval and my retreat to a Fortress of Ineptitude in remote NE Arkansas.  That’s still going on.  In additon to Wasted Po, I’m running (or co-running) five other websites, thus posts here have been pretty infrequent.  What type of other sites you might ask?  One is a trading blog (basically a Twitter marketing exercise, going okay so far, actually a cool community of option traders on Twitter).  One is a site selling a common item that’s very competitive (started as a case study to see if I could generate real google rankings in a tough category – probably going better than expected since I haven’t done much with it, sending quite a few people to Amazon with an affiliate cookie, but not much actual purchasing going on.  Damn economy.)  Another is a ten year old site I bought for small cash and have not really figured out what to do with (converted to a product review blog for the time being to get new content on and keep rankings on).  Have a nascent finance website that I started with a partner – more work to be done but age does a lot for a site.  Finally, we just bought a small e-commerce site that used to be pretty prominent and has fallen into a bit of disrepair.  A fixer-upper.  So will be spending a lot of time there trying to get it back to where it was.  Time will tell if any of this will pay off financially, currently the sites I started myself are not self-sustaining, but let’s see what happens as Christmas nears.


Oh, and my foot f*cking hurts. Also, I think I need to change this template, the font looks so tiny.




How To Listen To (Almost) Any Song You Want On Your Android Device For Free

How To Listen To (Almost) Any Song You Want On Your Android Device For Free


Nomad mp3 player - who needs an ipod?One surprising thing about the large rice field I find myself sequestered in, it has a pretty sweet T-Mobile 4G signal.  Yes, I’m still loyal to the T-Mobs and their most excellent spokeswoman.  And, despite being a fan of Apple the stock, I’ve never owned an iPod (although I rocked a sweet Creative Labs Nomad way back in the day when iPods were just a gleam in Steve Jobs’ eye; the 64 meg version was the bomb, it could store up to twelve songs.  Astonishingly, these are apparently still available– although the reviews are a little stale.)  The only thing I’ve ever purchased from iTunes is two episodes of Party Down (that I will cherish forever).

So how do I get my mobile listening on, you ask?  For years I used a stream (pun intended) of low-end mp3 players that worked with Napster-To-Go (you paid a monthly fee and could put songs on your device as long as your account was current).  I had a bit of a chemistry problem with the cheap mp3 players though – they could not withstand the deluge of sweat that always ensued during a typical Chilly workout.  Somehow, even on a treadmill, I managed to get the damn things wet and they would cease to operate.  Spending $60 every two months wasn’t gonna work, nor did I desire to start gasp – paying – for individual songs.  So, I just gave up and started running without music, letting the pleasant harmony of my graceful gait fuel my daily runs.  And at home I would use Pandora – until I got tired of hearing Michael Jackson songs featured during any possible playlist.  (Seriously, the third song on the Slayer station is “Billie Jean” – check it yourself.)  I needed some control of the situation – and at the time (a year ago?) Spotify wasn’t in the U.S. yet (and wasn’t going to be free when it hit our shores).  What to do?

And then I happened upon Grooveshark.  The legality of it is still somewhat being determined, but it is apparently legal (by the words of the law, if not the spirit) as of now and has been operating for years.  It works almost exactly like the original Napster did – the songs are uploaded by users.  How the f*ck could that work?  The songs can only be streamed – somehow this is within terms of the DMCA and Grooveshark apparently has agreements with some labels so I think there is a royalty mechanism of some kind.  Also, they will pull songs if the artist requests (Adele disappeared for about a minute, but it looks like she’s back on there.  Not that I love Adele or anything) – but that’s all neither here nor there, not my job to provide legal or moral opinion, I am only obligated to point you toward free sh*t so that the title of this post isn’t misleading.

grooveshark is free - combine it with tinyshark app and you can stream music on android for free
Grooveshark is free AND has a cool logo

So here are the steps to getting some free stuff on your Android phone:

1.  Go to Grooveshark and sign up for an account (Two Notes: 1) I’m not getting anything for this, this is just a public service – like when I challenged Gristedes about the absurb Arriba salsa pricing, and 2) Feel free to use a fake name when you sign up – I went with a character from a Mel Gibson movie)

2.  Type in the name of some songs you like and drag them to the bottom of the screen – if you push the play icon, you should hear music and words similar to those you are familiar with based on the song title you typed in

3.  Save these songs as a playlist

4.  Go to the android market and download tinyshark (Note: Grooveshark provides a mobile option directly as well – but they CHARGE monthly for that, and that’s not what we’re all about.  tinyshark is an app that (I believe this is what it does, I could be off by 1,000 miles) works around the need for the paid mobile app by basically mimicking the online version

5.  Go to your phone, click on the tinyshark icon and login with your account info established in step 1

6.  If you get a good synch, you should have access to your playlist and all music therein; feel free to listen to it wherever you have wifi or a good 4g signal.

7.  Thank me later.  (Note: I resisted the urge to add: 8. Call me maybe. So maybe you should thank me twice.)