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A New Year’s Party Gone Wrong

A New Year’s Party Gone Wrong

The above is photographic evidence of what went wrong the evening of December 31st, 2009.  A 15 year old bottle of G-schlager was dusted off and then, unfortunately, consumed (in conjunction with copious amounts of Andre Pink Champagne – on sale for $2.50).

Some telling statistics from the fiasco:

1 – Number of shot glasses I broke in the hot tub (a horrific party foul if ever there was one)

2 – Number of people I made cry (apparently with a heatbreaking summarization of Wilson Rawls’ classic Where The Red Fern Grows)

3 – Approximate amount of Andre Pink Champagne consumed, in bottles

4 – Amount of Goldschlager consumed, in Big Gulp cups

18 – Number of days of recuperation before I return to normal human operations (projected)

27 – Months until I will have another alcoholic beverage (projected)

40+ – Years lived, while still acting moronic

80 – Degrees here in LA today (why the fuck do I live in NYC during winter, again?)

Anyway, I will be back in NYC on the 6th, assuming my BAC has returned to low enough levels that I will no longer be flagged as a combustion hazard by the TSA.  I have a couple of corrections that I need to make to recent posts, so there might be some shorter stuff coming if I can pull it all together.  Til then, consider it potential further wasted.

Also, if you want to kill some time (and can turn your sound on – not in the office, of course) these reviews of The Phantom Menace are friggin hilarious.  It’s a total of 70 minutes; like most people, I thought I’d check out about 30 seconds and then bail.  I watched the whole thing, pretty genius.  I’ll link the first one here, head to YouTube if you want the others in the series.