- 1 Six mile run
- 1 Corona
- 1.5 Dark and Stormies
- 3.0 Martinis (gin)
- 1 dinner at Nobu
Start Sunday with the six mile run, preferably in the late afternoon. Follow the run not with Gatorade, but with the beer and DNS’s. Have dinner with Academy buddy and wife (Tropril for anonymity’s sake) at Nobu – take care not to eat too much rice or other carbs to ensure poor decision making later. Due to work obligations, make sure Tropril have to leave early from dinner, to leave ample time for said poor decisions. Let sit for two hours.
Ingredients (main course):
- SO’ stroke of genius
- Internet connection
- Plans to have Memorial Day cookout on back patio
- Proximity to train station
- Gosling’s Dark Rum
- Goya Ginger Beer
- Empty Poland Springs bottle
- Contempt for Borgata
Directions (main course):
After discussing Vegas trip over dinner, have SO use stroke of genius to suggest quick trip to AC on new train service. Use internet connection to confirm that there is an 11:00 PM train getting in at 2:00 AM and a return trip at 10:00 AM (important: disregard the fact that the 10:00 AM return is actually for next Friday, there is no train service to AC during the week). Throw cookout plans in the trash. Pour rum and ginger beer into Poland Springs bottle – brilliant subterfuge, that looks exactly like water! Rush to train station. Throw contempt for Borgata in the trash.
Once at Borgata, proceed to go up $7k within the first five minutes by throwing money around like a moron. Have this plan stop working starting at minute six. Do not leave craps table until 3:00 PM. Serve and enjoy!
I feel like shit. I did a wonderful job packing for this impromptu adventure, taking the following items: the clothes I was wearing (unfortunately including my ‘gamo loafers that hurt like mofos), my phone and a phone charger. That was it. Luckily SO took our tooth brushes (teethbrush?). By 3:00 PM I needed a sand blaster to get back to the enamel layer of my teeth (which is especially painful for someone who brushes about 13 times per day). I did realize a few things on this trip though.
Warning Signs That Should Lead To Reevaluation of Your Life
- You find yourself drinking alcoholic beverages out of Poland Springs bottles in public
- Your urine has the exact same color and (apparently) viscosity as Red Bull
- You find yourself still standing at the exact same craps table at 3:00 PM that you were standing at at 3:00 AM
I hit all three of these, so I did some thinking and had a couple of epiphanies. From here on out, I’m turning over a new leaf. No drinking. No gambling. I’ll probably do some volunteer work. Maybe become a vegeterian. Read more (I’ve still got like 820 pages of Kavalier and Clay left, but all the detailed gay stuff has slowed my momentum a bit). Become more tolerant of others. Use this website to advance the state of the world. Do good. Take fewer naps. Curse less. Burrito moderation. I’m doing it all – a whole new me!
Hmmm, I forgot we are headed back to Atlantis in 2.5 weeks…maybe I’ll keep the leaf where it is for now and turn it over after I’m back from the ATL…given that a couple friends are going too, it would be rude to be too evangelical, right?