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Office Etiquette 101

Office Etiquette 101

I saw some interns ringing the opening bell for the NYSE the other day – I completely forgot it’s intern season, seeing as the goliath that is is run by only Chilly.  No interns.  It’s pretty sad, actually, because I loved intern season.  As a green associate at TARP BANK I, it was great having interns because they served as additional reinforcements to do the idiotic tasks required by the retarded senior bankers.  Lots of research project type stuff.  At TARP BANK II, I got more involved on the hazing side of things, so it was more of a personal enjoyment type scenario.

Anyway, I used to help these newbies understand a few things about how the cubicle world works for their first few days on the job.  While this stuff has a bit of a banking tilt to it, I believe it translates to practically any work environment, such as consulting, forensic sciencing or coal mining.  Feel free to add anything I’ve missed in the comments below.

How to Not Be Hated By Everyone In Your Office

1.  Turn off your fucking computer speakers – Do you hear that “ding” sound every time you enter an incorrect formula in excel?  No, you don’t hear it?  Well, you apparently don’t have the well-trained ear of a seasoned banker.  Those fucking dings haunt my nightmares.  They are almost as bad as the dreaded extra space in a line of text that is client-bound.

Turn off the speakers – we don’t need to hear the dings, the ESPN video commentary that you get when just trying to get a simple recap of the Braves game, or the audio from that hilarious “awesome beer pong shots” video on YouTube.

2.  Don’t even think of turning on some music – Being new, I know you want to show how cool you are by making your indie music preferences known to all by plugging in your iPod speakers.  (Heaven forbid if you even consider doing this before 8:00 PM – the penalty for that shit is death)  Great, everyone else who is stuck in the office gets to hear your awesome playlists.

Reaction you think will happen – “Man, Wilco really is more than just a bunch of sterling reviews, this new kid is allright!”

Reaction that actually happens – “Whose fucking music is that?  That new fucker??  Goddam I should go rip his throat out!  I can’t get a return greater than 3.0% at anything less than 25.0 DEBT/EBITDA for a pitch due tomorrow AND I have to listen to some fucking retards whine about how tough life is on a bus?  No way is this kid getting a full-time offer.  He’s done.  And I’m going to make sure he gets staffed with Dr. Urgency all summer.”

3.  Be a responsible printer user – I could without question write a 300 page treatise on printer etiquette alone, but my editor (a bottle of Menage) has asked that I be brief.  So, a few key points:

Don’t print 10-K’s, 10-Q’s or other absurdly long documents on local printers – send that shit down to the print shop and have it double-sided and bound.  That way you might actually be able to, you know, use the fucking thing rather than having a 600 page slab that a binder clip can barely corral and that you cannot navigate through with any real purpose.

Seriously, these printers suck, DON”T PUT SUPER-LONG SHIT IN THEM.  They will break down, causing everyone who uses that particular printer to have to move to another printer.  This printer migration is basically what caused the beef in Darfur, so heed my words.

Put paper IN the printer periodically. I know these appear to be magical machines that churn out endless streams of documents, but do you see those huge stacks of reams of white paper sitting next to the printer?  Sometimes the printer actually disburses all the blank pages in its innards – someone has to put some of those reams of paper inside the printer for it to continue its magical journey of helpfulness.  Yes, you have to first remove the external wrapping from the paper reams, then you open one of the trays that make up the bowels of the mythical beast.  Don’t forget to shut the bowel door.

Don’t put in enough paper to do only your fucking job! Too many times in my unfulfilling, unsuccessful career I walked over to a printer that was completely out of paper before my job even started.  Couldn’t even print one page.  Sure, this could be just a coincidence, but most likely the bastard before me realized the printer was empty, but only had two pages left to print, so he/she put exactly two lingering blank pages in.  Again, death is a reasonable punishment here.

If you are the most junior person, and you are near the printer, it becomes partially your responsibility. I know that sounds idiotic, but everyone who has a problem with the printer will ask you about it.  “Is this thing jammed?”  “Does double-sided work on this one?”  All kinds of stupid shit.  So when you are junior, and are using that printer, take an extra two seconds to make sure there’s paper in it, and call the tech guys whenever it’s out of ink, jammed, or whatnot.  That’s your job.

(It could be worse – you could be seated near the fucking Bloomberg.  That was my curse for three years; ten people per day would ask me about obscure keystrokes required to attain obscure information.  Bankers don’t even use Bloomberg all that much!  Except for retard Directors who want to pretend they are digging deep for crucial information that they can leverage at their next important meeting – they are invariably just checking stock prices that they could just as easily check on Yahoo! Finance.  Oh, and where do you find LIBOR on Bloomberg?  BBAM, Go.  You’re welcome, now stop asking me shit like that.)

An all-too-common sight in any office environment
An all-too-common sight in any office environment

4.  Shut the hell up while on the elevator –  You’re young, possibly naive, and maybe even excited about your new job.  You are amped up to tell your newfound buddies all about the cool profiles you get to do on all the Defense & Aerospace companies that could potentially utilize ShamWow technology in their businesses.  Please, save all the loud talking and laughing for when you are out of the elevator, no one needs to hear it.  Consider the other passengers are likely either: 1) Enjoying the last few moments of relative solitude before returning to their personal pea-green carpeted house of horrors, or 2) Trying to enjoy a few minutes in their happy places as they run out for the only thing they truly have any ownership of: their lunch destination. (Don’t worry, these poor souls are rushing back with a to-go order so they can listen to the replay of an earnings call that their boss requested they listen to, as opposed to reading the word-for-word transcript.)

5.  Actually, shut the hell up in general.  Then, when asked to speak, know some fucking answers and offer them confidently. This probably goes back to my southern upbringing (“kids should be seen and not heard” or “kids should not speak until spoken to” or “I will hit you in the head with this brush if you don’t shut up about going to get an ICEE”) but there is a lot of downside to being too talkative.  Yes, in banking specifically there is also downside to being too quiet (never from me though, in my opinion quietness is next to cleanliness, which is alongside godliness), but as a very new person it’s best to shroud yourself in mystery.  Being the quiet guy/girl who knows all the answers is far superior to being the frat guy from the Big Ten who has already proven himself an idiot by talking about football way too much with people who are only familiar with squash and Hamptons summer rental pricing.

6.  Speaking of shutting the hell up, watch what you say on the phone.  It’s a cube, basically everyone can hear your dumb ass! Some interns/new folks actually believe their cubicles to be offices, complete with imaginary doors and windows.  Those aren’t imaginary windows – that’s just fucking air, which is a great medium for transporting the idiocies that are coming out of your mouth as you wait for your $60 of Seamlessweb to materialize.  Everyone on the floor can hear you talking to your boys at Iowa State about how you are going to parlay this banking gig into a job at Duquesne after one year (you aren’t).  And about how many girls you are going to score when you go back for homecoming (you won’t, and FYI – going back for homecoming, etc is mega-lame your first year out of school.  Man up and let it go.)

Man, this is getting long and I’m just getting started….will have to do a part II (and maybe part XXILLVXLV) as wanted to get something posted before noon…I’m not sure what’s going on with the font here, looks to have magically changed to Arial.  Ironically, one of the big no-no’s in banking was to have Arial text.  Arial was for Excel only, text was all about TNR.  Fuck it, I’m out of that world, I’m gonna let my Arial flag fly.

Part II coming – and let’s hear your thoughts on the topic!  Consider this our chance to make the world a better place,


My Top Three Reality Show Ideas (plus one from Tdiddy)

My Top Three Reality Show Ideas (plus one from Tdiddy)

Given that I provided the history behind poster dicksukha#1’s handle yesterday, today is probably a good day to give some props to another poster, Tdiddy.  Beyond providing sexual favors to my mother for months (according to him, at least) he also provided maybe the funniest content this site has ever seen.  It may have been overlooked a bit since it was in the comments, so I have provided below, for your viewing pleasure.

Submitted by Tdiddy on 2009/05/15 at 9:24am



I think you’d be great at running your own Reality TV production company. Lets call it C17. Here is my first suggestion for a new show:


Hot Chicks and Homeless Rick (A cross between The Bachelor, Average Joe, and Rock of Love)

20 women compete for the love of a man named Richard who they think is super wealthy. In actuality, Rick is a homeless dude (probably named Smitty). The setting is a mansion in California and the women are all hot, young, aspiring actresses.

The rules:

1) The women must not use sex to win the competition. They all sign agreements to not sleep with Rick.

2) Rick wins money ($10,000) for each girl he sleeps with.

3) Rick sends one women home each week. At each elimination session he berates the women for not being physical enough or sexy enough (adding to the pressure to sleep with him).

4) Rick has one “save” where he can allow a one night only “extra chance” to win his love to a recently eliminated contestant.

5) The contests for immunity each week are all centered on sex and debauchery. Stripper pole contests, jello wrestling, lap dance competition, etc.

In the end, Rick selects the final girl as the winner and reveals that he is in fact, homeless.

Brilliant.  I love it.  It’s basically a raunchier Joe Millionaire (although that Evan Marriott looked like he could use an extra shower or two).  This did get me thinking about reality shows though; I was envisioning a pay-per-view show FingerFork (described below) a decade before Survivor was more than a gleam in Mark Burnett’s eye.  Given the enormous amount of television I watch and/or am subjected to, I’m pretty confident that none of my show ideas are currently on air.  But it could happen any day.  TV producers – call me if interested!

My Top Three Reality Show Ideas


Finger not included
Finger not included

Close friends can vouch that I had this brainstorm in either 1992 or 1993.  While I was thinking pay-per-view, I can easily adapt this concept to an eight week summer program.  The competition is simple – eight people are placed at two tables, four on each side, facing one another.  Each person has one fork.  A starter says go.  The first person to successfully remove one of his own fingers (below the knuckle) with said fork wins $3 million.  Everyone else gets nothing.  No medical care.  Nada.

Who wouldn’t watch this show?  To make it an eight week event, you have an audition process, whereby you go to several different cities and have people explain why they NEED this $3 million.  Bonding through human interest.  Empathy via  “I need this money to pay off my credit card bills, buy some new rims for the Prius, and implement the forex trading program that I learned about on daytime television.” All culminating in the event itself.  And the strategy involved!  What’s the best approach?  Stabbing?  Sawing?  The ultimate battle: pain threshold vs. greed!  I repeat: who wouldn’t watch this show?  It’s possible that it’s already in production over at Spike TV.

So You Think You Can Drink

This probably doesn't get you to Vegas
This probably doesn't get you to Vegas

Competitive eating has become a quasi-legitimate sport.  Why not drinking?  Everyone can eat, right?  But drinking, that’s a skill unto itself; not every jackass knows how to balance his port wine and his warm Goldschläger.  This actually pisses me off, because if we lived in a world where competitive drinkers were celebrated, it’s entirely likely that I’m Michael Jordan.  But no, we live in a puritanical society where drinkers are shunned and forced to conduct their business in poorly lit drinking “establishments” that generally never have sufficient ginger beer or jello shots on hand.

My show would be similar to So You Think You Can Dance (which is why I so cleverly chose a similar name) – drinkers of all types would audition for a chance to be on the show.  As with FingerFork, auditions would be held at all the major drinking cities in the U.S. to pick out 200 potential “America’s Favorite Drinker” candidates.  So you’d have to hit New York, Chicago, Annapolis, Oklahoma City, Tallahasee, Chico State University, every city in Wisconsin and a handful of others.  Prospective drinkers would audition with their beverage of choice in an attempt to wow the judges and get the ticket to Vegas.  One might shotgun a fifth of Jack Daniels, while another might do a three minute red wine bong.  Anything to earn the coveted ticket to Vegas, where the 200 semifinalists would be whittled down to a top twenty.

In Vegas, the 200 selected contestants would be put through a series of rigorous drinking tests such as Method Method Shot (“method” is the street name for taking all the ice out of a Long Island Iced Tea and drinking it like a shot – Method Method shot is doing this 2x and then chasing with a tequila shot), Sweaty Lumberjack races, Gorilla Fart quarters and Nonsensical Three Wise Men Challenges (tequila+gin+Jägermeister – repeat, repeat, repeat).  For safety, all contestants’ blood alcohol content would be closely monitored, and anyone scoring over a 0.40% would be given a bagel and cream cheese.

Once the Top 20 had been selected, we would pour on lots of back stories (“my momma was drinking straight through the third trimester – I was literally a born drinker”) as the viewing audience would decide each drinker’s fate by weekly voting.  Each week would be a different drinking challenge in a variety of genres – gin pong, Everclear tastings, rum kegstands.  The bottom three drinkers (by viewer vote) would have to “drink for their lives” to remain on the show.  “Drinking for your life” would be a five minute period where you attempt to put your best imbibing foot forward to impress the judges and spare your life for another week.  The people of America would decide the ultimate champion by text message voting once the field is narrowed to the final two.

Who would the judges be?  Drinking luminaries, of course.  One would definitely need to be female.  So, how about, Chelsea Handler, my cousin Jethro, and Dennis Rodman?  That would be phenomenal.  We would probably need subtitles for the judges’ comments, though.  If this show gets made, I will likely be the only executive producer/series champion in the history of reality television.

Top Banker

Barrow only needed for Bonus Day
Barrow only needed for Bonus Day

We have all these shows now where some pretty unsung occupations are in the spotlight: chefs, dancers, fertility drug abusers, masseuses, okra farmers, etc.  How about a once-relatively-anonymous occupation that now causes shivers of revulsion amongst even the most out of touch Americans?  Investment banker – just seeing the letters arranged in that undesirable sequence likely made you dry heave.  Yes, this once-noble field has taken one to the gonads due to the whole subprime/easy credit era.  As a former banker, I’ve gotta be honest – I never approved a migrant worker making $15k/year for an $800,000 mortgage.  (Did I ever help put incomprehensibly overleveraged corporations in largely the same financial dire straits?  No comment.)

So this show would have a different level of banker every three weeks or so – there is a definite need to crown the top analyst, associate, vice president, director and managing director individually.  Whole different skill sets.  For instance, one of the analyst challenges would be to spend 3-5 hours discussing, ordering, eating and digesting a Seamlessweb feast, to be followed by one hour of “work” (checking fantasy football stats, shooting the shit with college buddies on the phone, etc) culminating with pulling off a plausible explanation for being three hours late the next morning.  (Contestants must claim to have “pulled an all-nighter” during this explanation)

For a vice president, one of the challenges would be a demonstration of the ability to say “yes” (or substitute affirmative of your choice) when asked for fact-checking backup by a managing director during a client meeting:

Managing Director (to client):  “Your competitor Startech went public at, I believe, 7.3x EBITDA – Stanley is that right?”

VP Stanley (who is solemnly look into distance, as if recalling an afternoon fishing with his late grandfather):  “Yes, 7.32x EBITDA, that’s right.”

(For the record, I would fucking rule this part of the competition – I had several variations of agreeing response: the momentary puzzled look followed a split second later by a confident “yes,” the casual “yes” with head nod, the quick look down at some papers (that probably had nothing to do with the question asked) and then a “yes, that’s correct” – I could go on for an hour or two, but I may eventually have to work again so can’t spill all my secrets on this public board.  But lending credibility to your boss’s potentially made-up-on-the-spot facts by agreeing with them is one of the most important jobs for a banking VP.  (That sentence might be a bit of a grammatical abortion, but I don’t really know how to reword it, so hopefully you can sound it out))

For MDs (and to an extent, Directors) the challenges would involve seeing how much bullshit they could take from middle management nitwits at some megacap company while trying to “maintain share of wallet.”  Another would be trying to  calculate M&A fees in their heads as various deal parameters are discussed over dinner, without access to either an associate or the spreadsheet that breaks down the complex-assed incentive fee structure they negotiated.

After fifteen weeks we could crown the winners of each category at once, and have a fucking sweet-ass deal team that would then put together a pitch on how the producers of Top Banker should totally lever up and buy Hollywood Squares.  That would be awesome.

Anyway, I’ve gotta call my hookup in H-Wood, Joe Che, and see if any of this is actionable.

Til then,

Chilly17, wasting potentially significant potential

Investment Banking Stereotypes: A Deeper Dive

Investment Banking Stereotypes: A Deeper Dive


Given our robust recent bump in traffic from hard-charging soon-to-be MBA student types (thanks and Businessweek forums!) I’ve decided to preempt my scheduled banalities for a closer look at the personalities you will find in banking.  So enjoy one of the few truly educational posts you’ll find on this site – and don’t be afraid to leave comments.  (For more stereotypes, you can read about the sweet sound systems in the cars I’ve owned)

But before all that, let me offer three bits of legit wisdom for the legions of folks breathlessly updating the BW boards and getting all lathered up over the whole business school thing.  Allow me to assuage some of your fears:

What if I don’t get into H/W/S/K/M/C/Z/R/Q?  Will my life be effectively ruined? I didn’t take much away from my seven years in banking, but I do recall that no one gave the slightest fuck about where you went to business school.  There may be some marginal advantages in the recruiting process at some schools compared to others – but you may also be a small fish in a big pond at said school, putting you at a relative disadvantage.  I can’t speak for P/E, VC, consulting, etc but my gut feeling is that it doesn’t fucking matter at all once you get your foot in the door (assuming you get into one of the Top Ten Schools, of which there are probably 16).

Will B-School be hard for me?  I’m not actually that smart. You don’t need to sweat this one either – no one in business school is really that smart.  Everything is done in teams and – this was not intuitive to me – most of the students seem to enjoy doing more work rather than less!  So even laziness is not really a negative trait – there’s always someone to pick up your slack.

And most of the classes utilize the “case” method, whereby you read a short story (often business-related) and then form a vague opinion on the story based on something your professor discussed in class a few days before.  B-schools largely eschew “textbooks” these days, so if you aren’t book smart, but are good at raising your hand and filibustering, then you will flourish in the system.

(Caution: do not embrace your true laziness until after the first semester – the point of this whole thing is to score a sweet job and you can’t do that if you don’t do shit from the get-go.  And even at those elite institutions where they don’t reveal grades, you still run the risk of sounding idiotic during the interview process if you aren’t a frickin WACC expert.  After you get a good summer job, feel free to coast.)

What if I don’t get a job and end up with $120k in debt? You’re fucked. (Or: insert bailout joke here)

At some point I will get around to telling the story of how I got a full time offer a month after 9/11 after having had a disastrous Summer Associate experience.  I need to let the healing hands of time wash away some of the shame first.

OK, enough with the community service.  As discussed here, bankers exhibit basically three broad personality types: robots, jargon fanatics and douchebags – most bankers are some combination of the three.  Within this spectrum there will be sprinkled bits of moodiness, passive agressiveness, “let’s grab a coffee”-ness, etc that make each banker unique.  Through this veritable blizzard of banker snowflakes emerge a few stereotypes that you will find at every investment bank (and likely at just about any professional institution).

Jargon Boy

Description: I have already described this guy a bit: he’s the one who wants to prove how much he’s into the job and what an integral cog he is in the institution by talking so idiotically that he makes everyone he comes in contact with want to kill him.  Even summer analysts smell the desperation upon first meeting a JB; commands zero respect from anyone in the office, including the mail guy and the car service drivers.

Substitute "doin deals?" for "making copies?" and you've got the idea
"Doin deals?"

How He Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: Jargon Boys are on a constant quest to find someone to mentor/be their friend.  You will be regaled with stories of the tickets he printed as a junior and besieged by requests to get lunch or coffee so he can expound upon best practices for “spinning plates,” “making sausage,” and “chopping wood” (all euphemisms for needless bullshit work he’ll have you spend the next 4-5 days on)

Recommended Strategy: While JBs are pretty harmless, make sure you don’t work with them exclusively or you may be in danger of catching the Stockholm Syndrome.

Doctor Urgency

Description: This is what Jargon Boys grow up to be: passive aggressive asswipes that make any simple client request a weekend Three-Alarm emergency that will require extra staffing and a special convening of whatever committee would be required to approve the (hypothetical) transaction.  Typically driven by deep self loathing and an extreme dislike of their home lives.  Have a great desire to be perceived as a hero by their bosses and believe that generating internal hype/panic is the best method for this.  (This has actually proven to have the exact opposite effect)

Dr. Urgency as a pre-med
Dr. Urgency as a pre-med

How He Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: Will use primitive brainwashing techniques to convince you that: a) the hypothetical crap he’s having you pull all-nighters for is really, really important; and b) working closely with him forever is the only way you’ll last in the industry.  Every Friday afternoon he will come to your cube to grandiously announce how, [fill in name of non-fee-generating client] has asked for [analysis/profiles that will in no way generate any fees] and you will need to stay late tonight and be in early tomorrow to do the [analysis/profiles] and the committee memo that will never appear before any committe, except for the hypothetical transactions committee.

Recommended Strategy: Stay far away.  Nothing good can come of it.  Have a set list of excuses for the inevitable “Hey, you wanna grab a coffee” requests.

The Family Guy

Description: Unlike Peter Griffin, these guys usually aren’t barrels of fun.  Generally hard-working and focused but will always contour work to meet family requirements (who said family values are dead?).  This sounds well and good, but when 80% of the deal team is 28 years old or younger (or an extremely immature 39 year old) the “let’s have an 8:00 AM conference call Saturday morning” to discuss whatever (hypothetical) deal can get really old.  Family Guy usually favors aggression over passive aggression; likely gleaned from child rearing manuals and need to get straight to the point on shit so as to have ample time for kindergarten interviews.

The original Family Guy
The original Family Guy

How He Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: Excessive embrace of human side when at home often translates to more demonic presence in the office.  The aforementioned inconvenient conference call times are often accompanied by screaming/crying interruptions.  Can be highly irritable – particularly when delays in work process jeopardize seeing the kids one last time before long trip.  

Recommended Strategy: Tread carefully.  There’s a bit more upside for working with FGs as they at least have some non-work interests.  They tend to be pretty volatile though, so if you cry easily you might want to keep your distance.

The Diva

Description: Typically a more junior banker who experiences early career success and then leverages this recognition via carefully targeted jargon bombs and discrete yet appropriate ass-kissing.  Is eventually annointed a “superstar” by senior bankers while being widely reviled by peers and juniors.  Actually has done little to no work in career (beyond planning exotic vacations every 2-3 months).

How He Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: (That’s right, “he” – trust me, this is non-gender-specific)  The Diva will get credit for successes that he had no part in, but paradoxically will always escape blame for failures that he was directly responsible for.  The Diva will always work less than you and get paid more than you.  Just accept it.  Don’t embrace the hatred.  In fact, I strongly believe we should be commending the Divas for their adroit navigation of the piranha-filled waters of the Street.  (Particularly since we may need them to give us a job some day.  And given that they don’t ever do shit, they’re going to be looking for strong wood-chopping types).

Recommended Strategy: You won’t have any say in the matter.  Divas always get what they want.  If you pretend to be an idiot they will probably not want to work with you since they need someone to pull their weight (that’s called “providing leverage” in banking)

Mikey was a textbook Bitter Guy, but Double down was all Diva
Mikey was a textbook Bitter Guy, but Double down was all Diva

The Bitter Guy

Description: Routinely driven insane by illogical pay/ranking as compared to Diva classmates.  Despises himself for coexisting with investment bankers.  Cannot bring himself to utter jargon even when required to do so by the powers that be.    Refuses to play the game and eventually quits over perceived rampant injustices; later takes glee in the downfall of former colleagues and organization.

How He Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: The Bitter Guy is mostly pretty amusing; can be tough on the junior folks at first as his caustic memories of his early days on the job recall him putting in 23.5 hour days 6-7 days a week.  Diatribes following pay announcement are youtube-worthy.

Recommended Strategy: BGs are generally fine to work with; sometimes they will take it out on you, but hey – you are going to get screwed over by someone, right?  Might as well listen to some vitriol while you’re at it – just don’t let their bitterness creep into your system.

The Mom

Description: Common career arc for female robots: they handle their personal and professional lives as methodically as someone crossing items off a grocery list.  This grocery list always includes ample amounts of two things: maternity leave and bonuses collected.  Kudos to the ‘bots for figuring out the maternity leave/bonus arbitrage before the quants.  (Moms follow the exact opposite strategy as that insane Octomom – they would ideally be constantly pregnant for eight years rather than dropping double quads at one time – the IRR is much worse)

Tasteful yet stretchy business dress, will hold up through many bonus cycles!
Banker Moms practically created the maternity business suit market

How She Will Impact You as a Junior Banker: Exhibits some Family Guy characteristics, but is typically fairly junior (if at the still-pumping-out-kids stage).  Will generally need to leave the office earlier, so may result in more “carring” of documents and 9:00 PM conference calls (whereas everyone else would normally still be in the office).  Motherhood often lends a compassionate edge to the robotic personality, particularly in those Moms that are just hanging in for x more bonus cycles.

Recommended Strategy: I would say Moms are generally fine to work with, particularly the ones who lose a bit of their robotic edge with each birth.  They will be on leave roughly 50% of the time though – so be wary of who will fill their shoes when they’re out of the office – could be a Jargon Boy.